Tag: white van man

27% of Accidents Caused by This Van Brand

Posted on by News Desk

Van drivers are a predictable bunch. They pack their ham sandwiches and flasks of tea and get road rage at 8:25am every morning.

In between eating their lunch and honking their horn…they also get into accidents. Sad but true. But if there was no accidents there would be no need for van insurance, and that would mean…

Cheap Van Insurance wouldn’t exist And we can’t have that, can we?

So van accidents are here to stay, and there is one particular brand of van that is right at the top of the accident Premier League.

The award goes to…

Ford.

That’s right, if you drive a Ford van then according to a recent survey you are most likely out of all van drivers to be involved in a pile up or fender bender.

The survey shows us that 27% of accidents are caused by a Ford.

More specifically, it is the Ford Transit which is the number 1 culprit…

And even more specifically, it is the…yes you guessed it…

The WHITE Ford Transit van.

In other words, the WHITE Van Man.

When will they ever learn? Never if you ask me.

We should have guessed it though shouldn’t we? Did we really need to look at the survey to know that white van owners would be making an appearance right at the top of the list? We could have easily guessed the outcome.

That’s not to say all white van drivers are out of control and back to the “Summer of Rage,” but as the weather starts to turn frosty and chilly, I reckon some white van drivers need to chill out a bit.

What better way to chill right out than by spending a bit of quality time on our 3 minute form.

If you are a white Ford Transit van driver and your van insurance renewal is looming just over the horizon then use our 3 minute form to compare around 40 insurers and brokers.

You should get the cheapest van insurance quotes ever, even if you drive a White Ford Transit Van.

27% of van accidents might include you…but…if you save 50% off your current price then it puts you in a pretty good position, wouldn’t you agree?

Back to the survey and other van brands most likely to be causing destruction on our nations roads include Vauxhall (17%) and Volkswagen (11%).

No matter what make, model, or colour of van you drive…and no matter if you are a saint or a sinner while behind the wheel…you can get cheap van insurance quotes at the click of a button right here.

Van Drivers VS BMW Drivers – Who Wins? Derbyshire Decides

Posted on by News Desk

Who are the most hated drivers on the road? Is it those white van men who get so much bad press, or is it BMW drivers? Read on…

It was the county of Derbyshire who were asked their opinion, that place which is famous for being the neighbour of Nottinghamshire.

2000 people in Derbyshire were surveyed and the results surprised many, including me.

I admit, I thought it would be a whitewash against the white van man, especially when you consider how they are often unchained, unleashed and unhinged.

The tide has turned though, and members of the public are seeing that most white van drivers are not a bad bunch really.

That is why it was BMW drivers who were voted the “most hated” in Derbyshire. They came out on top, and were universally condemned as the “worst drivers” on the roads in and around Derby.

White van owners did not get off completely scott free though. They are no angels and butter would not melt in all of their mouths.

16.5% of Derbyshire residents thought that white van drivers are the worst on the road, and they have no doubt seen their fair share of road rage and dangerous driving from our very own white van men.

Its nothing compared to those BMW drivers though…where 31.2% of Derbyshire residents voted them as the very WORST. Nobody else comes close.

Here at CVI we would like to take this opportunity to jump in and defend the white van drivers. Sure they do a few naughty things now and again, and they might even go on tour and get in a bit of bother…but when it comes down to it…ask yourself this question…where would you be without them?

Where would you be without that delivery driver from Amazon delivering your package just in time for Christmas?

Or where would you be, Derbyshire residents, without the hard working roofers, builders, and electricians who keep your houses in top nick throughout the year?

It is these white van owner tradespeople and delivery drivers who are the foundation of our society, and they deserve a bit more respect, in our opinion.

No, we are not white knighting the white van men…we are simply bringing a bit of clarity and common sense to the situation.

Just like our 3 minute form brings clarity and common sense to the van insurance world.

In an industry where sky high prices are the norm, its refreshing to find somewhere that cheap van insurance quotes are not designed break the bank, and are in fact, designed to save you a packet.

Van Drivers Who Passed Their Test After 1996 – READ THIS

Posted on by News Desk

Are you a van driver who passed your driving test on or after the 1st January 1997. If so, then you MUST read this important message.

Ignore this and you could lose your license, get a fine…and even end up behind bars at her Majesty’s pleasure.

Now that I have your attention allow me to tell you exactly what this is all about.

Put simply, anyone who passed their driving test after 1996 is limited to driving vehicles that weigh up to 3500kg when fully loaded. This includes the weight of the driver as well.

If you are a tradesperson or courier driver…then its very easy to go over this 3500kg limit, especially when your van is loaded with tools or parcels.

Also, if you have been hitting the big macs or pizza hut hard recently, then it might be a good idea to eat a salad and hit the gym…hard.

Most van drivers either don’t know about this rule or wrongly assume if the weight of their van is below 3500kg then everything is hunky dory.

For example, the average Ford Transit which is very popular on our UK roads is around 2000kg soaking wet.

However, when you consider that two people can be sitting in the front and there is an assortment of heavy tools in the back…then it’s easy to see why so many van drivers are unwittingly breaking the law.

So are the cops cruising around and looking to bust you for being overweight? They might be, although most of the time they come across your crime by accident.

Many van drivers might be involved in a small fender bender and then the cops show up on the scene.

Nobody is at fault, and after both parties have exchanged details everybody is ready to leave…when…”what is the weight of your van, sir?”

The cops have a nose for this kind of thing, and busting you for being overweight is the cherry on top for them.

Hauling hardened criminals into jail…that is their bread and butter.

Busting overweight van drivers…that is their cherry.

Don’t let the cops pop your cherry. Visit a local weighbridge and make sure you are under the 3500kg limit.

If you regularly driver over the limit then you need to take additional driving tests to become legal.

Oh…and while you are at it you might as well visit our 3 minute form here at Cheap Van Insurance.

Thousands of van drivers make us their number 1 comparison website to get the best quotes. Find out for yourself why many white van men, tradespeople, delivery drivers and LCV owners call us “The Nations Favourite.”

Just go to the top of the page and click on “Get a Quote.”

Banged Up in Bordeaux

Posted on by News Desk

“Hello this is the inspector speaking to you on the pheun in the name of the leahw.”

“The leahw?” I replied.

“Monsieur..Don’t try to be funnayyyy with me…The leahw of France…and it is in the leahw that I inform you of your balloon seller who thinks he is a news reporter…has just been been sentenced to 7 years in a prison in Bordeaux”

“Is this a wind up?” I asked.

“This is no wind up Monsieur..the glueve was found at the crime scene last night of some precious jewels that have been robed. It was a white glueve…with the initials…CNR.”

“It can’t be…” I said in disbelief.

“If the glueve fits…” the inspector replied.

“Oh yes, it is obvious to my trained eye who the criminal is here, and now he is doing the time,” he went on to add.

“Oh and one more thing before I get off the pheun…I will be sending you a bill for a priceless Steinway.”

The next morning and the morning papers confirmed what the inspector told me.

“FAMOUS CHIEF NEWS REPORTER JAILED FOR 7 YEARS IN FRANCE”

Sub headline: “A gardener who thinks he is a photographer sent back to Beijing”

I couldn’t believe the headline staring back at me.

I only sent him on a simple assignment and now he was going to be folding laundry in prison for the next…7 years!

I gathered all of the staff in my office and poured everybody a shot of whiskey.

“Here is to the best damn CNR you could ever get” – as I rose my glass to him.

“Yes he definitely was a bit…eccentric,” said the head of the SEO department.

“He was a genius,” I corrected her…

“An eccentric genius, yes…but a genius…although a bit flawed…true, some would even say… that is what he was…an eccentric, flawed…

“Loony” the head of the SEO department added.

Everybody in the office laughed.

“You can take those kind of comments down to the ….JOB CENTRE…your fired!”

“Anyone else want to make any comments? Get back to work.”

I can only wonder what he is doing right now inside those walls of the prison de Bordeaux. No doubt he is on some kind of wild ride already. I just hope he has access to a pen and paper to document everything

But…the show must go on. Apologies if the quality of blog posts goes down over the next 7 years but we no longer have our CNR.

I’m sure our JNR is going to step up to the plate and start pumping out some classic blog posts, but he has to learn the ropes.

Of course, loyal readers and customers of CVI you will still be able to get cheap van insurance…don’t worry about that. Just fill out our 3 minute form to get around 40 quotes from van insurance companies.

Revenge Of The White Van Dog

Posted on by News Desk

I watched as the White Van Man was restrained by 5 French police officers as commanded by the inspector.

I rushed over to the inspector.

“It’s ok…he is just a white van man…a bit hot under the collar…but no harm,” I said to the inspector.

“Monsieur…what do you know…you are just a balloon seller,” he replied

It was then he looked me up and down…”do you have a lisonce for selling those balloons?” he asked.

“No.”

“I arrest you in the name of the leahw!”

5 minutes later and me and the white van man were sat in the back of French Police van speeding through the streets of Paris with my balloons hanging out of the back window.

“Ne-nah, ne-nah, ne-nah, ne-nah…”

“You been on tour?” I asked the white van man.

“Yeah, just getting back from an extended tour in Siberia mate…hang on…how does a French balloon seller know so much English? He replied.

“Actually…I’m the CNR of a website called…”

I paused for effect…

“Cheap Van Insurance!”

“You…Are…Joking…It’s my favourite website pal. Proud customer of 5 years. Your blog posts kept me company in Siberia for the last 6 months.

Fast forward a few hours…and the boss back at HQ had spoke with the inspector and got me off with a warning and “no more costumes!” My balloons were confiscated.

I arrived back at the apartment.

“Chang…Chang…” I called out to my photographer. “Chang…Chang, where are you,” I said as I walked through the apartment.

There was an uneasy silence.

I went to the fridge to get some lunch.

As I opened the fridge door…Chang suddenly pounced out of the fridge and attacked me.

“sayawwwwww!” he shouted as he grabbed me and tried to take me to the floor.

“Chang…not…now….” I tried to say as we struggled

The struggle continued…right into the Steinway Piano in the living room.

“SMASH!”

It was an intense battle…and then…the phone rang.

We both stopped…and then Chang answered the pheun.

“CNR residence…it’s the boss,” he said handing me the pheun.

“Give me that,” I said snatching it away.

“Hello…”

“We’ve just received intelligence that the White Van Dog is at the park near your apartment. Go there immediately and get the photo. Our social media experts are waiting and ready to get this on Instagram. Don’t let us down…”

“I won’t,” I said.

I put the phone down.

“You are getting better Chang, but you forgot one thing…”

I gave him a “karate chop” to the head.

“Never let your guard down…”

“Now I must go to the park…I will take your camera.”

Chang spoke from the floor…

“Wait…the piano…that is a priceless Steinway,” he said.

“Not anymore.”

We both laughed.

10 minutes later and I was in the park trying to act normal but realised my white gloves and camera gave me away

and then…

there she was…

The White Van Dog

I approached with excitement.

“Does your dog bite?” I said to the owner.

“No”

I went to down to say hello and then…

*BITE*

“ouch!”

The white van dog bit my hand and ripped my glove off.

“I thought you said your dog did not bite?”

“That is not my dog,” he replied.

I watched as the white van dog ran off with my white van glove into the distance.

“Revenge of the White Van Dog,” I said to myself.

Return Of The White Van Man (On Tour)

Posted on by News Desk

“The Inspector wants to talk with you,” I said to the boss over the phone as I sat there in a French Police Station. I handed over the phone.

“This IZ Chief Inspector speaking on the pheun,” the inspector said.

Wait a minute, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to the start shall we.

It all started when we arrived in Paris in search of The White Van Dog if you remember.

The smell of French bread lingered in the air and the sights of accordion players with meenky’s (collecting the cash) made me feel like I was now in France. And I was.

I was with Chang, a freelance photographer from Beijing, who had moved to the UK a few years earlier to “photograph vans.”

He seem a bit awed by my presence. I was a CNR after all, while he was still basically a trainee. I liked him though.

“Always be on your guard Chang. That is the secret of excelling in the type of job we do. You never know what to expect next.”

Unfortunately, our afternoon spent walking around the streets and parks of Paris proved to be fruitless.

“No White Van Dogs today,” I said to Chang as we made our way back to the apartment.

The phone line at the apartment went down, and my phone had ran out of battery, with my charger still back at CVI HQ.

So communication with the boss was not possible, but at least it allowed me to focus 100% on finding The White Van Dog, without any distractions.

However, The White Van Dog proved to be elusive. Maybe she sensed I had arrived, and was now in hiding.

Or perhaps it was because I wore white gloves with “CVI” on one hand and “CNR” on the other.

It was obvious to me that I stood out like a sore thumb. I needed to be smarter so I hatched a cunning plan…I would wear a disguise.

So the next morning I dressed as a French Balloon seller, complete with a assortment of balloons to make my disguise even more authentic.

My plan was to head towards the local park and just observe, under the cover of my costume.

As I was leaving the apartment I bumped into Chang and he seemed startled.

“Who are you?” He said, in shock at seeing an intruder, no doubt.

“Relax Chang, It is me, the CNR,” I said as I lifted my cap and made my face more clear from behind the balloons.

“Ahhhh!” he said, knowingly.

10 minutes later and I was walking towards the local park when I heard a familiar sound…

“You What Mate?” The voice said.

I turned around…and right there on the road was a White Ford Transit Van…with a “white van man” arguing with an inspector of the French Police.

“Have these tools been robed?” the inspector said very loudly.

The white van man snapped…anger, rage, discontent…all rolled into one.

“Return of the white van man…on tour,” I said to myself.

A Shot In The (Social Media) Dark

Posted on by News Desk

I marched into the office of our CNR and announced “You’ve done it…Our approval rating in the white van community is the best ever!”

“Thanks to your recent blog posts white van men are once more flocking to our 3 minute form in their droves…and the White Van Dog post from last week really was the cherry on top.”

Our CNR had the look of a heavyweight boxer who had just won the title back. A look of pride…A man who was now back at the top.

“Listen,” I said to him…”your last post about the White Van Dog got me thinking…if a dog has a social media following from the white van community, then, I think CVI should get a piece of the action as well.”

“You want me to hack the dogs social media account?” our CNR said, looking a bit confused.

“No of course not,” I replied. “However, pictures of these White Van Dogs are obviously popular…this could be a launching pad into the social media for CVI.”

“What I want you to do is head to the source…France, and find as many French Mastiff dogs as you can. Get them to do the “white van man pose” and then social media success will surely be ours.”

“It’s a shot in the dark,” our CNR responded..”But I like it, although…I’m not a photographer, I’m a writer.”

“That’s okay. I organised a freelance photographer to travel with you to France. His name is Chang.”

I handed him two train tickets to Paris.

“The limo will be waiting for you outside in 45 minutes,” I said as I walked out of the room.

“Oh…” I added as I was leaving….”there are no meerkats in France, I checked.”

Fast forward 24 hours and I was looking more closely into this whole social media thing.

I was pretty confident that CVI could become “The Nations Favourite” on Instagram, and maybe even Facebook. As long as we got some good photos of white van dogs…but Twitter? Maybe that would be more difficult.

If this social media thing really took off then maybe we could do away with blog posts once and for all…

Just then the phone rang. It was our CNR, who was now in Paris.

“How are you doing? Have you seen any white van dogs yet?” I asked.

“Not yet,” he replied. “I did see a minkey though.”

“A minkey?” I said, confused.

“No…a chimpanzee Meenky,” he replied, although at this point the phone line seemed to be a bad connection.

“A meenky?”

“No…a…I think there is something wrong with the Pheun,” he said.

“The Pheun?”

Just then the phone line went quiet The connection had been lost.

Has a simple shot in the dark just turned into another wild ride involving our CNR, yet again?

Why oh why can he not just take on a simple assignment and get the job done?

These are all questions I pondered as I left CVI HQ and got into my Rolls Royce.

Stay tuned for more…

The White Van Dog

Posted on by News Desk

You’ve heard of the Pink Panther, Green Hornet and Red Dragon…now get ready for the White Van Dog.

A French Mastiff named Roxy to be exact, who currently resides in our nations capital, London.

As the story goes, Roxy travels in a white van with her owner Nicky Morris on a daily basis. He is a delivery driver, who is always busy delivering parcels all around London, day in and day out.

Roxy is right there by his side, with her seatbelt on, keeping Nicky company and guarding the van while he makes a delivery to Mr Smith or Mrs Jones.

As regular readers of the CVI blog will be well aware…van crime is a national sport these days, which means having a bit of “protection” in the van is always a good idea.

As well as being a thief repellent – get this…Roxy has also perfected…

The white van man pose!

That’s right. Pictures confirm that Roxy the French Mastiff dog does a really good impression of a white van man, especially when leaning out of the window and giving you a stare.

Fortunately Roxy doesn’t follow up the impression with swear words and all out rage. She is a very chilled out dog, even if she does enjoy imitating the white van man.

Of course, the white van man reputation is very much exaggerated. If you ask me they are among the calmest and safest drivers on the road. That’s a fact.

Roxy, The White Van Dog, has built up her very own social media following with her impressions and impersonations.

Do you know what else? I reckon our favourite White Van Dog would also be a good match for CVI.

“Which one do you prefer…1 bark for those Meerkats…or 2 barks for CVI?”

“Woof Woof!”

The Nations Favourite White Van Dog and The Nations Favourite Van Insurance Comparison Website…the perfect match.

Then, as soon as 40 quotes come through from trusted companies and brokers…

“Are these the best quotes you have ever seen?”

“Woof Woof Woof Woof!”

“Good girl. Time for a treat!!”

According to Nicky, The White Van Dog is -”not just a pet, she is a celebrity courier, who drives around London delivering parcels to people. She has been with us for seven years, since she was a puppy.”

Here at CVI we raise our glasses to the White Van Dog. Long may you be delivering parcels in our nations capital and keeping up the good reputation of white van owners around the country.

What a Load of Rubbish! (White Van Man)

Posted on by News Desk

“Do you have a license for that?” said the council worker. “You what mate?” replied the white van man.

The council worker edged his nose further into the van window…

“The empty crisp packets and bottles, sir…do you have a license for that?”

“Your having a bubble bath, aint ya?”

You, the faithful reader of CVI might be thinking this is a laugh, but we can assure you this is no joke. This is something that actually happened.

In Hertfordshire to be exact, where a roofer was just chilling out in his white van and enjoying a break before he got back to fixing tiles and pointing up ridges.

Sure, there was empty crisp packets and water bottles in his van. Maybe even some empty pot noodles. Who cares? This is his van and his choice. Thousands of white van men do exactly the same thing. It eventually gets cleaned.

Well, it appears that white van owners are no longer safe. You can’t do what you want in your own van, without jobsworth council workers sticking their noses in and trying to rob you of your own hard earned money.

Like a modern day Dick Turpin, these council workers roam the roads of the UK with nothing better to do.

“A license or a fine,” is what they say, and unfortunately you don’t have any choice in the matter.

Just like the white van man in the story…he couldn’t produce a license so he got slapped with a £300 fine, all for having a few empty wrappers in his van.

“What a load of rubbish!” is what we say here at Cheap Van Insurance.

Isn’t it time these council workers got a real job, and left hard working white van owners alone to get on with theirs.

He wasn’t fly tipping. He wasn’t chucking it in someone’s garden. He wasn’t throwing it out of the window.

It was in his own van! These are crazy times, that’s for sure.

Here at CVI we would like to reach out to every white van man and woman who has ever been a victim of this kind of injustice.

These bureaucrats might wield their power over you with stupid fines but you can fight back using our 3 minute form.

The next time you get a £300 fine you can laugh in the face of the council worker handing it over.

“What’s so funny?” they will demand to know.

“I’m with CVI…I’ve already saved a packet!”

So what are you waiting for? Compare van insurance with us today and make a £300 fine seem like chump change.

The Cardiff Incident – RE: White Van Man

Posted on by News Desk

As I walked back towards the CVI limo I noticed the windows were steamed up. “What are you doing?” I demanded to know…

Hi, It’s the CNR from CVI here and I am probably getting ahead of myself a bit. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? Ok, here is the bizarre story, involving a…yep you got it, a white van man.

As CVI enthusiasts will know I’ve been in Cardiff on tour, seeking out stories about white van men becoming “unhinged” in this “summer of scam” that is going on right now, as we speak.

I wasn’t disappointed .As soon as I took to the streets of Cardiff I found plenty of stories about white van drivers being unleashed and unchained.

At the end of a long day filling up my notebook with stories I decided it was time to take a break and get some food before heading back to the hotel for the night.

“Take me to Tesco,” I said to the Limo driver, and with those words he drove me through the quiet Cardiff streets to the supermarket car park.

“I’m going to get a pot noodle, do you want anything?” I asked the limo driver.

“yes get me a beef and tomato flavour,” he replied.

“Ok…oh and put the kettle on while I’m gone…we need it for our pot noodles,” I said.

Tesco was empty which meant I quickly located the pot noodle aisle and found a chicken and mushroom flavour for me and beef and tomato for the driver, then I headed for the checkout.

With two pot noodles firmly in hand I walked back out into the quiet car park and what I saw next I couldn’t believe. The end of the day suddenly became the headline of the day.

My first reaction was to drop the pot noodles and reach for my Motorola, but then I remembered it didn’t have a camera. So I did what any Chief News Reporter would do in this situation…I got out my notebook.

I simply wrote what I saw…

“White Volkswagen van driving around Tesco car park, with a man clinging to the top and doing press ups. Another man in the van driving. Man on top still doing press ups. Coked up? Puff the magic dragon? Has the white van man finally become totally unhinged? Still driving around the car park…still doing press ups..it has now driven off into the night.”

What more could I do? I headed towards the limo still in a daze.

As I walked back towards the CVI limo I noticed the windows were steamed up. “What are you doing?” I demanded to know…

The window of the limo opened up slightly and some steam flew out.

“I’m boiling the kettle…for the pot noodles,” the limo driver said.

“Oh” I replied, “of course,” realising I had forgot all about the pot noodles.

I went back and picked them up off the ground and then got in the limo.

We sat there in silence eating our pot noodles. I wasn’t even sure if the limo driver had seen the white van incident because the windows had been steamed up. I wasn’t even sure if this was reality anymore.

Rather than say anything about the incident I decided to finish my pot noodle and then say to the limo driver…

“Take me back to CVI HQ…we must drive through the night.”

I didn’t want to hang around in Cardiff any longer I thought to myself. This summer was getting way too strange.

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