Tag: white van man

Winter Driving – Are you prepared?

Posted on by News Desk

As winter spreads its icy tendrils out over our green and pleasant land, most of us don’t do anything to prepare either ourselves or our vans for winter. But the days are most definitely shorter, and the north of the country has already seen its first snow, and some are saying it’s going to be our worst winter for a while. So here at CVI, in the name of being responsible writers, we thought we’d arm you with our top tips for staying safe this winter.

  1. Give yourself more space to the car in front. Yes, we know this goes against everything many van drivers believe, but being bumper to bumper with the car in front isn’t actually a good idea, especially in winter. Slowing down and giving yourself more space to the vehicle in front, so you have a greater chance of recovering the van if you do lose control can be the difference between life and death – not just yours, but of other vehicles around you. 
  2. Check your van is ready for the road. That means checking your tyre pressures are ok, (even better if you have a set of winter tyres for this time of year), your fluids are topped up, including some de-icer in your screen wash, your van battery is working well and you have a personal emergency kit ready if you need it. That includes water, a blanket or duvet and a couple of little snack bars to keep you going if you do get stuck. It’s recommended that you check your type pressure each week to be safe. Also check your roadside emergency kit is complete, your fire extinguisher is tested and you have everything you should have.
  3. Winter tyres are worth the investment. They will ensure you have better grip in the ice and snow, are less likely to aquaplane in the wet and the compound is better suited to winter conditions. Invest in a set and they should last you for years to come. 
  4. Do you know how to handle your van in case of a spin or a skid? Just thinking through and visualising how you’d handle this will leave you better prepared than just winging it in the moment. 
  5. Keep everything clean. Again, we know keeping your van clean isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but ensuring windscreens, lights and wiper blades are clean and in good working order can help keep your vision of the road at its best.
  6. Give yourself extra time. When the weather is bad, don’t just assume you’ll get from A to B in your usual time. You won’t, and rushing to get there is putting your life in danger when conditions are bad. 
  7. Try to avoid stopping on hills in snowy and icy conditions. Use a low gear to get to the top, because once you’ve stopped on a steep hill, getting going again, especially in a heavy van, is easier said than done. 
  8. Make sure your van insurance is up to date and you have enough cover for the contents. If you’re delivering Christmas gifts, check your policy covers the full value of what you’re carrying. The cheapest van insurance policy often isn’t the best. Thankfully, this is something we can help with, by filling out our form and getting the pick of the best deals and offers available.

All these things can help to keep you safe, keep other road users safe and make sure you’re around for the joys of spring, even if it does feel as if that’s a very long time to wait still. 

Why you may be feeling SAD…

Posted on by News Desk

While the majority of our readers here at CVI are waiting each week with baited breath to read out latest news, it appears that one or two of you may be nodding off… at the wheel.

Yes, in shocking news from Motoring Research, they found that almost half of all van drivers have, at some point, fallen asleep at the wheel. And now the clocks have gone back, van drivers up and down the country are even more likely to feel tired and struggle with their moods during the shorter days and longer nights.

The study of 2,000 van drivers found that 83% of respondents said that tiredness was a greater issue for them during the autumn and winter months, and 45% said that they find their mood to be affected by the change of seasons. And why wouldn’t you? Seasonal Affective Disorder can affect many of us in countries with short winter days, and long dark nights, and while treatment is surprisingly straightforward, it appears to be something that many people are embarrassed to seek medical help for.

Going back to falling asleep at the wheel – if you are feeling a little drowsy, what should van drivers who are feeling sleepy to do? Well, it’s been proven that simply opening the window doesn’t work, so that’s 58% of the respondents to the survey who aren’t doing the right thing. At all. Instead, the guidance is to pull over and take a 15-45-minute nap, and thankfully 2/3 of the van drivers said that they do actually this when they are really tired. 

But if you do feel that it’s a little more than a bad night’s sleep and this time of year brings a repeat of the same symptoms, the advice is simple, make sure you lay off the caffeine and alcohol, get a regular sleep pattern, take some form of exercise to boost endorphins and tire you a little and seek medical advice if you feel that you are a sufferer of SAD (Seasonal Affective disorder). If going to the doctors is too much, you could also invest in a SAD light for yourself. Just 10 minutes a day is enough to help make those depressing dark mornings a tad less terrible. 

A Haunting Tale About Van Drivers in a Post-Apocalyptic Brexit World

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Brexit. 

If like 99.9% of the UK population, you’ve given up trying to understand what the hell happened, what is going to happen and what’s real or not real, like the rest of us, you’re probably over it, and resigned to whatever will happen, will happen.

Let alone trying to understand what any of it actually means.

If you’re a UK van driver who drives their van… well, in the UK, the answer is that to a large degree, Brexit won’t affect you if it does actually happen on October 31st.

If you drive abroad, we hope you’ve looked into the implications in a little more detail, as it’s potentially the stuff of nightmares. 

The customs implications for importing and exploring in and out of Europe are many – there is the extra time it takes to prepare and procure the correct paperwork. There’s the expense of paying for customs charges, most of which will be charged back to the client, but will add extra costs onto your bottom line. Then there’s the time of waiting at borders to have your goods checked in and checked out. If you’re delivering fresh food items for a client – this could be a massive blow to them – and you.

Basically – you’re buggered. 

There is an action in place to try and ensure that if the UK leaves the EU without a deal, that both sides agree a continuation as things are until the end of the year, while a solution is sought, but this still has sticking points if you’re travelling through non-EU countries such as Switzerland and there will be restrictions on the number of deliveries that can be made under this agreement.

Added Van Insurance Costs

If that wasn’t enough, you’ll also need to ensure you have a foreign use extension to over any countries you deliver to. And a green Card driving permit to drive in the EU post-Brexit (currently not charged for by your insurance company, but give it time…) These Green Cards are only valid for a maximum of 90 days, so you’ll need to be sure you’re on top of renewing these to keep driving legally abroad. And you should already have one, but you need to be sure you’re not driving on a UK standard license – you’ll need an international driving permit.

While we wait with bated breath to see what happens, we at CVI can’t see how Brexit’s going to be a good thing for our international van driving friends. All you can do, is ensure you have a really good van insurance policy, that your paperwork is in order, and that you pack extra sandwiches for the inevitable long queue at customs. Sweet dreams all, don’t have nightmares. 

A Lesson In Dogonomics

Posted on by News Desk

A survey earlier this year reported that almost half of UK van drivers take their dogs to work.

If we consider that there are estimated to be 2.5 million vans on the road in the UK (which makes 1 in 24 of us a white van driver), that’s almost 1.25 million dogs. 

With a total of 9 million pet dogs in Britain, that means that 14% of the entire dog population of the UK are owned by van drivers.

Aww, how cute, right?

But what about looking at it from the other side?

Not only are these dogs getting free travel up and down the country that the rest of us would have to pay for, but some of them are taking an active role in the teamwork at the job sites they are going to. From supervising site operations, or sitting on parcels to make extra space in the van, all of this work is unpaid. 

(They’re taking our jobs)!

The average van driver covers 12,811 miles each year. We know that 1.25 million dogs are on the road, so they are covering over 160 million miles each year, without paying a penny toward diesel. Talk about getting a free ride! Touring the country, and, with the exception of the working dogs we’ve mentioned, barely lifting a paw to help out. Be assure, they are absolutely no bloody use when the M25 is backed up (again) and you need an alternative route, because their paws can’t work the satnav. The freeloaders. 

But do you know there are rules around taking your dog in your van? A dog without a harness, a cage or a dog guard is not only asking for trouble, but it also breaks the Highway Code (it’s Rule 57, if you suffer from insomnia and need something to help you sleep). 

If the worst does happen and you have an accident and your insurers discover your dog wasn’t restrained, it could invalidate your van insurance claim. And if your furry friend gets injured, you’ll also be in need of pet insurance, as any claim for doggy injuries won’t be covered. 

We don’t offer pet insurance, but if you are looking for a great van insurance deal that will be there if you (and your unpaid labour) need it, fill out our short form and save on your van insurance. We think you really should be asking Fido to pay his way too, but we’ll leave that bit to you. 

Autumn of Terror – White Van Man STRIKES Again

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Jack…is back…and he is terrorizing the roads and streets of our nation yet again.

It is the white van man who is striking terror into the minds of ordinary motorists this Septmeber.

Experts are expecting the terror to continue into October, meaning this is now classified as the…

Autumn of terror.

Much like the summer of rage and winter of discontent, this autumn of terror shows that many white van drivers don’t have any “off season.”

Instead they get into their white ford transit vans and put pedal to the metal and unleash all out terror…

Just like one man in a white van who stopped to get out of his van…to punch a woman jogger!

Shocking!! Is all we can say here at CVI.

Or how about the white van driver who can be seen on dashcam footage SMASHING head on into a car. The reason? Because he was checking out a young woman who was still dressed for summer, even though it was Autumn…

The Autumn of terror, that is!!

And what about the white van owner who burned rubbish in his garden, night after night, leaving his neighbours frustrated and angry.

“This isn’t bonfire night…you know?” shouted one of his neighbours.

“I know…this is Autumn,” the white van owner replied, calmly, but with a menacing terror in his eyes.

Before long the white van owner was attacking his neighbours. There was real terror in the neighbourhood, on that night.

Do you know what though? While there are some white van drivers embracing this Autumn of Terror…there are many of you white van owners who are hard working, law obeying, and just general all around good people.

Sure, you might get up to a few tricks here and there and you might even get a bit hot under the collar against other NON white van owners.

But…you are not into punching joggers, or driving head on into other drivers, or attacking your neigbours.

That is NOT your style.

And if that is NOT your style then you are welcome here at CVI.

We welcome you to fill in our 3 minute form and save a packet on van insurance.

The Wicker Van Part 4

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Sergeant Dowie came face to face with…

A van made completely of wicker.

Some staff surrounded the van with flames ready to set it alight.

The Sergeant started to panic.

“You don’t want to do this…what you are about to commit is…

“Relax sergeant.” said Lord CVI with a smile.

“All we are going to do is offer the white van gods exactly what they want…and that thing is…

Your uniform.”

“You are not going to put me in the wicker van?” said Sergeant Dowie with a hint of relief in his voice.

“Of course not,” replied Lord Cvi…”what do you think we are? Heathens?”

All of the CVI staff and CVI Island residents laughed.

Lord CVI now stood in front of Sergeant Dowie and explained everything:

“This year our Cheap Van Insurance did fail…for the first time since we started…and it is because we have angered the white van gods.

We must give them a peace offering…

The uniform of a police officer…”

“But why? What are you talking about?”said a confused Sergeant Dowie.

“Anyone who reads the CVI blog will know that white van men and the police are common enemies, going against each other week after week. We must take a side. Right Now. And that is what we are going to do…

But it couldn’t be any old police officers uniform…

It had to be the uniform of a Sergeant…

Also, you had to come of your own free will – you did – we baited you with fake stories on our blog – starting off with “Duel in Dundee” – then on to France with our “White Van Dog” and then on to the “CVI Shining….

You had to come as a fool – which you are now dressed

And now we will place your uniform in the wicker van…”

“But wait…my uniform is back at the canteen at CVI HQ,” replied Sergeant Dowie.

Just then the canteen manager appeared with the uniform.

“Oh…sorry about the Judo Chop.”

“Aye. It’s alright,” replied the canteen manager.

“And now we will place your uniform in the wicker van…” announced Lord CVI to everybody with baited breath.

They set the Wicker Van alight.

All the CVI staff and residents joined hands around the burning wicker van and sang…

“Autumn is a coming…”

And on and on they sang.

Lord CVI turned to the sergeant who was watching everything…

“And now…you came as a fool, and you must leave as a fool…make sure he flys back to the mainland in that costume.”

The security staff took him off.

Most of the CVI staff started to make their way back to HQ, while Lord CVI and The CNR stopped to ponder the moment.

“Does that mean I can stop writing those stupid stories now?” asked the CNR.

“Yes you can. We have achieved our goal. The White van gods are satisfied and Cheap Van Insurance is the number 1 yet again.”

“And I can go back to my office?”

“Of course…this might be the end of ridiculous stories on the CVI blog…but we have much work to do reporting on white van men and the white van community. We must serve them like we have never served them before”

“I’m going to get back to work straight away.” said the CNR with enthusiasm.

“Let’s go together…our work here is done.” replied Lord CVI.

And with those words the clouds parted and the sun appeared for the first time since morning, as it began to set on CVI Island.

White Van Man Drives Thru a Bus

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In a quiet town, on a quiet road, there was a bus. The passengers sat in silence as it cruised to the next bus stop. Everything was normal, and then…

“CRASH. BANG.WALLOP.”

It was…yes…you guessed it…

A White van man!!

Right into the side of the bus he crashed, with enough force to send many of the passengers to the floor.

Luckily no-one was hurt. A bit shaken? Yes. But no-one was hurt. And they were not surprised either to see a white van man was the culprit.

Did this white van driver have something against this bus? Was it an act of revenge, or maybe anger, or even rage or discontent?

No, no, no and no.

In fact, the white van man was high on his own supply!

Regular readers of the CVI could have probably seen that one coming a mile off. We have reported many times about the war on drugs on our nations roads. Well, it appears our very own white van man is living up to the hype.

This guy had been to McDonalds. No doubt he had the munchies, so to speak…but this was not going to be a “Happy Meal.” Oh no. Because while driving back from the drive thru with a burger in his lap, he went straight into the side of a bus.

CCTV captured the moment. It happened quickly. All of a sudden. But there was no doubt the white van man was at fault.

So when the cops arrived on the scene it wasn’t long before they pulled out their wipes.

“Come here young man, I need to wipe your…”

There was a silence as the young white van driver wondered what was about to happen…

“Wipe my what?”

“Your…Mouth!” said the Police Officer.

It was those trusty Drug Wipes we have been telling you about. They give cops the ability to test van drivers at the side of the road. Right away.

And guess what?

This white van man was found to have cocaine in his system. The real good stuff straight from Bolivia.

No wonder he crashed into the single decker, he was probably seeing a triple decker.

Right now, as we speak, the white van man is awaiting sentence from a court of law, although you can be rest assured that the bus is repaired and back on the road.

Unfortunately, it is drug fuelled white van drivers like this one who are giving all white van men a bad name.

You might be a law abiding white van man who has never puffed on the magic dragon before, but that won’t stop your van insurance prices from becoming higher.

Here at CVI we are for white van men who don’t do drugs or drive while high as a kite. If you don’t do either then you are welcome to fill in our 3 minute form and see if you can save money on van insurance.

Will You Pass The “Van Excellence” Test?

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There is an organisation called the FTA, and they have come up with something called the “van excellence” scheme.

Experienced trainers take you under their wing and put you through your paces in the “van excellence” bootcamp. And then inspectors make sure your driving is the best of the best, so you can be called…

A van driving Top Gun!

That is if you pass. If you don’t then you will never be a Maverick or a Iceman. You will be kicked out and banished to the lower leagues of van driving.

So will you pass the van excellence test? If you do, then there is a reward waiting for you. It comes in the form of an exclusive van insurance policy.

You heard it here first.

You see, the FTA have teamed up with a van insurance broker called QBE in Leeds, Yorkshire, and what they are doing is offering “bespoke” van insurance policies to any van driver who passes the van excellence test.

So if you are a Maverick then get ready to receive your gold star, because the FTA and the QBE are going to reward you.

Hang on a minute. While this van insurance policy might be “bespoke” and “exclusive” – I’m sure the question on most of your lips is…

“Is it cheap?”

The answer is…probably not.

Anytime you hear the word “bespoke” then you can be sure it will come with a hefty price tag, and to think you have to pass a test just to have the privilege of buying something expensive.

If you ask us…that is just taking the mick!!

Our advice? Forget about the FTA and the QBE…and start thinking about CVI.

Who wants to be a van driving top gun anyway? In our opinion, as long as you have a basic understanding of the road laws and you keep your hands at 10 and 2, then you are more than qualified to get cheap van insurance.

Ok, you might get in a bit of bother now and again and experience some rage and discontent. Fair enough, but try to keep it under control.

And you might go on tour and get up to a few shenanigans. That’s ok, we will look the other way.

But mostly you are a hard working white van man who obeys the laws and gets on with the job, and you just want cheap van insurance every year so you can save a packet.

You can do that right here at our 3 minute form.

The Story Of A 78 Year Old White Van Man

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We couldn’t believe what they found in the back of his white van, and once you read the following story you won’t believe it either.

It started on a temperate night in the county of Lincolnshire The clock had just struck 11:57pm and most people were in bed, tucked up.

A 78 year old white van man by the name of John was still on the road. With his hands at 10 and 2 and sticking to the speed limit, he didn’t think the cops would pull him off the road when he saw them in his rear view mirror.

But they did pull him off…

Why? Because BEEP BEEP he had been scanned with the APNR scanners, and he came back as a hit. The cops wanted to speak with him.

It turns out he had no van insurance and no licence, but…that wasn’t even close to being the biggest shock of the night.

After Police had taken down his particulars and arranged to have his van taken away, they decided to take a sneek peek in the back of the van. It was just a hunch. The Police man had the vibe something wasn’t quite right.

So he got John to open the back of his van, and what the Police officer saw he couldn’t believe..

He was shocked…

Right there in front of his eyes…

Was 8 big cannabis plants staring back at him!!

This old timer might have been a slouch when it came to getting a drivers licence or van insurance. But he was no slouch when it came to getting high on his own supply.

At first, The Police officer thought he had just caught Lincolnshire’s own version of “El Chapo,” but when questioned, John, the 78 year old white van man, simply said…

“I didn’t realise it was illegal.”

It turns out he didn’t think cannabis was illegal when in plant form. As long as you don’t smoke it and puff on the magic dragon, then I won’t get into trouble, thought John.

He was wrong. Very wrong. And in the era of this “war on drugs” he found himself in court and facing a stern looking judge who gave him a 12 month suspended sentence.

Let’s put it this way: If John decides to take to the roads again, in his white van…with half of Bolivia in the back…then he is going directly to prison.

As regular readers are very much aware, here at CVI we are a drug free zone and we have a zero tolerance on white van drivers who transport cannabis plants.

In fact, we will say it to your face: “If you have any kind of plants in the back of your van, we don’t want your business.”

The ironic thing is…if John had visited CVI and got his van insurance sorted, then the cops probably wouldn’t have pulled him off in the first place.

But John isn’t welcome at CVI, and in light of this “War On Drugs” era, we may even add a new question to our 3 minute form…

“Are you planning to transport your own supply or get high on your own supply?”

If you answer “NO” then you are welcome at CVI.

RAISE THE…Kia Van?!

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Incy wincy spider climbed into the van, What the spider found…wasn’t a white van man! Instead, it was a woman in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

The spider was just hitching a ride no doubt, and after a while found its way onto the woman’s lap…and when she saw the spider she let out a massive…

“Argggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!”

To be fair this probably wasn’t your ordinary British spider with eight legs and a smiley face.

This was more than likely, a deadly and poisonous spider with a serious face and bad intentions.

The spider on the woman’s lap caused her to swerve her Kia Van directly into a river. Luckily she escaped unharmed, and it is believed the spider also came to no harm.

But the van? Let’s just say that “Raise The Kia Van” is now top of the list of priorities for Police in North Georgia, USA.

In fact they have even got a crack team of divers in to locate the van, after a boat failed to identify it.

Who is going to pick up the bill for raising the Kia Van? It is the van insurance company…apparently

That’s right. According to local Police the woman has fully comprehensive van insurance and her policy covers the cost of recovering a van from the bottom of a river.

If she didn’t have the correct insurance then the recovery would have came out of her own pocket, or even worse, they would have just left the van there for 100 years and more.

Although this story comes from the other side of the pond, I think it is relevant to every British van owner out there.

The message is simple: make sure you buy the best van insurance your budget allows…because if the worst happens and your van ends up somewhere like in a river…or even worse…stolen from your drive while you sleep or taken from your parking space while you work, then you want to make sure your van insurance company will take care of everything.

If that means pulling your van from a river with a crane, then so be it.

Or if that means giving you a courtesy van until they find your stolen van, then so be it.

Just make sure you are covered. Fully comprehensive van insurance is the best.

It’s also the most expensive type of van insurance, which is why you should use Cheap Van Insurance to compare companies and brokers and find yourself a really cheap deal.

You still get quality. Make no mistake about it. But you get affordable prices that won’t hit your hard in the pocket and make you say “ouch.”

You really can save a packet on fully comprehensive van insurance, and it starts here at CVI.

Step 1

Complete your quick and easy quote

Step 2

Reveal your van insurance policies

Step 3

Pick your favourite and get instant cover