The Wicker Van Part 3

Sergeant Dowie walked around the empty corridors of CVI HQ. He Looked at certificates on the wall that dated back from the noughties.

“This is to certify that Cheap Van Insurance is the cheapest van insurance comparison site in the UK,” read each certificate, year by year, one by one.

He got to the end…there was an empty place, and the year said 2019…but there was no certificate.

“The cheap van insurance failed this year,” he observed.

Then he thought back to what Lord CVI had said about White Van Gods…

“Sacrifice!” he said in a moment of clarity as he started to piece the jigsaw together.

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It didn’t take him long to confirm his theory…

He quietly walked towards the canteen and overhead the canteen manager and caretaker talking…

“What time is the sacrifice happening?”

“About 4pm”

“Are you going dressed as the fool, like always?”

“Aye.”

The sergeant waited for the caretaker to leave, and then creeped up behind the canteen manager as he was getting his costume ready.

“JUDO CHOP”

The canteen manager fell to the floor

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Sergeant Dowie was now dressed as the fool and part of the parade as they went through the lush greenery of CVI island.

He was trying to keep in sync with everybody with the strange dancing and rituals but found it difficult.

“What’s wrong canteen manager? Have you been eating too much of your tomato sauce again? Keep up man,” said the Lord CVI, who was dressed himself in a costume.

Sergeant Dowie tried his best to fit in and hide his true identity as they continued through the island. He pulled it off…just.

And then…they came to the beach near some rocks and a cave.

And then…the CNR appeared out of the cave with his hands tied behind his back and 2 men from the CVI security team either side.

Lord CVI stood in front of everybody and spoke…

“And now…it is time.”

The sergeant quickly ran towards the CNR and then…

DOUBLE JUDO CHOP – he took out both security guards.

“Thank you, mister, quick untie me,” said the CNR.

“You are the Chief News reporter I presume,” asked Sergeant Dowie while untying him.

“Yes mister…you came just in time…quick…I know a way out…this way, through the cave, follow me.”

The sergeant followed the CNR through the cave and they ran for about 5 minutes then they climbed through a hole.

He was expecting for them to both run for safety, but instead, he came face to face with Lord CVI and the staff. Who were now not wearing their costumes.

“Did I do good?” said the CNR

“Marvellous! you did great” replied Lord CVI.

The CNR ran over to join the rest of the CVI staff.

Many of the locals from CVI island started to gather…surrounding the sergeant…there was no way out…they were on a cliff, at the bottom of a hill.

“And now, it is time for you to keep your date with…

The Wicker Van,” said Lord CVI

The CVI security team minus 2 – grabbed the sergeant and started leading him up the hill, while someone banged a drum slowly, adding to the tension of what was about to happen.

As the sergeant approached the top of the hill he suddenly could see what was on top…

His face turned to shock and terror

“OH GOD…OH NO!!”

The Wicker Van Part 2

“Lord CVI I presume?” asked Sergeant Dowie as he walked into the office.

“At your service,” replied Lord CVI getting up from his armchair.

Sergeant Dowie stood there for a moment, looking Lord CVI up and down.

“Yes…I’m a police officer from the mainland and I’m looking for a missing person…The Chief News Reporter from your blog,” said Sergeant Dowie as he handed the photo to Lord CVI.

“I’m sorry…I can’t help you.” said Lord CVI after looking at the photo for a few seconds.

Sergeant Dowie became impatient and bit agitated…

“Oh yes you can help me! According to your blog he was imprisoned in a maximum security prison in Bordeaux..but Lord CVI …there is no maximum security prison in Bordeaux, and there is no record of this man ever setting foot in the country of France!!”

“So you suspect…foul play?”

“Lord CVI…I suspect…MURDER!!!!”

“Oh no,” replied Lord CVI, in a relaxed and calm tone.”

“Oh Yes!” replied Sergeant Dowie getting more and more irritated.

“Well, I really hope you get to the bottom of this,” said Lord CVI as he started to look out of the window into the CVI HQ grounds.

Sergeant Dowie looked to see what had caught Lord CVI’s attention…and was horrified to see naked women dancing about without a care in the world.

“Just what kind of enterprise are you running here?”

“Oh that is just some of the CVI staff enjoying their lunch break…our motto here at CVI is…be free and do what you want.”

“I’ve never seen such a thing!”

“Yes…well….what you must understand is that here at Cheap Van Insurance we do things differently. I moved to this island in the noughties, at that point there was a declining fishing industry on the island, but that came to an end, and it was me who introduced Cheap Van Insurance as the main source of income…

We could offer cheaper prices than sites and companies on the main land…and do our own thing. Every year we pray to the White Van Gods and they reward us with cheap prices again and again,” said Lord CVI.

“What on earth are you talking about?” replied Sergeant Dowie.

Lord CVI paused for a minute, pondering if to tell the Sergeant more about his company and the White Van Gods, but then decided against it.

“Look…I really don’t see how I can help you…allow me to arrange my assistant to drive you back to your plane.”

“I will be staying right here on this island until I find out what happened to your Chief News Reporter (CNR)!” said Sergeant Dowie in a defiant tone.

“I see,” came the reply from Lord CVI.

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