Tag: white van

White Van Man Drives Thru a Bus

Posted on by News Desk

In a quiet town, on a quiet road, there was a bus. The passengers sat in silence as it cruised to the next bus stop. Everything was normal, and then…

“CRASH. BANG.WALLOP.”

It was…yes…you guessed it…

A White van man!!

Right into the side of the bus he crashed, with enough force to send many of the passengers to the floor.

Luckily no-one was hurt. A bit shaken? Yes. But no-one was hurt. And they were not surprised either to see a white van man was the culprit.

Did this white van driver have something against this bus? Was it an act of revenge, or maybe anger, or even rage or discontent?

No, no, no and no.

In fact, the white van man was high on his own supply!

Regular readers of the CVI could have probably seen that one coming a mile off. We have reported many times about the war on drugs on our nations roads. Well, it appears our very own white van man is living up to the hype.

This guy had been to McDonalds. No doubt he had the munchies, so to speak…but this was not going to be a “Happy Meal.” Oh no. Because while driving back from the drive thru with a burger in his lap, he went straight into the side of a bus.

CCTV captured the moment. It happened quickly. All of a sudden. But there was no doubt the white van man was at fault.

So when the cops arrived on the scene it wasn’t long before they pulled out their wipes.

“Come here young man, I need to wipe your…”

There was a silence as the young white van driver wondered what was about to happen…

“Wipe my what?”

“Your…Mouth!” said the Police Officer.

It was those trusty Drug Wipes we have been telling you about. They give cops the ability to test van drivers at the side of the road. Right away.

And guess what?

This white van man was found to have cocaine in his system. The real good stuff straight from Bolivia.

No wonder he crashed into the single decker, he was probably seeing a triple decker.

Right now, as we speak, the white van man is awaiting sentence from a court of law, although you can be rest assured that the bus is repaired and back on the road.

Unfortunately, it is drug fuelled white van drivers like this one who are giving all white van men a bad name.

You might be a law abiding white van man who has never puffed on the magic dragon before, but that won’t stop your van insurance prices from becoming higher.

Here at CVI we are for white van men who don’t do drugs or drive while high as a kite. If you don’t do either then you are welcome to fill in our 3 minute form and see if you can save money on van insurance.

White Van Men – DON’T Wear These On Your Feet…

Posted on by News Desk

Here at CVI we speak directly to white van men and give them Cheap Van Insurance, but are we about to give them fashion tips?

Not quite. Although we do have an important warning about what you should never wear on your feet while driving your white van.

You can be cruising down the lane without a care in the world…off to your next job or to make a delivery…when those all too familiar flashy blue lights will be in your rear view mirror.

So you pull over and then watch the “Bobby” as he or she approaches your van.

Then you wind down your window, and wait for the “Boy in Blue” to speak…

But instead of asking for your drivers license or proof of insurance, they ask…

To see your shoes!

This comes on the back of a new Police crackdown where they are stopping drivers and checking their footwear, and if found to be wearing the wrong kind of footwear, then drivers could be slapped with a £5000 fine.

Yes you read that right. And even worse, our insider intelligence suggests that Police are targeting white van men as a main priority.

If Police pull you over and find you wearing Cowboy Boots, Gladiator Sandals, Wellington Boots, or Stiletto Heels…

Then you are going to find yourself in big trouble.

Police are also looking for white van men who wear flip flops, knee and thigh high boots, and of course, workmen boots.

Basically, any kind of footwear that has a thick and heavy tread. Because it leaves you without sufficient control of the pedals.

At the end of the day, you wouldn’t try and play the piano in Cowboy Boots, would you…so why are you trying to drive your white van in them? Our advice is to stop right now. For your own safety and to protect yourself from a Police fine.

And if you refuse to take off your cowboy boots, wellingtons or workmen boots?

Then…

“Back up requested,” says the Police officer in their radio mike.

In no time at all there will be 4 or 5 Police cars screeching to a halt and surrounding your white van, and then, well, I think we all know what will happen then. It will be another “Summer of Rage” incident that we have become all to familiar with here on the CVI Blog.

So white van men of Britain…take 3 minutes to check your shoes, and then take another 3 minutes to compare van insurance here at The Nations Favourite.

White Van Man VS Bailiff – “OH NO!”

Posted on by News Desk

It is the confrontation you have all been waiting for. The moment a white van man meets a bailiff. Everybody looked on in anticipation.

“The summer of rage is upon us,” said one onlooker as the burly bailiff looked mean and keen and ready for a ruck.

“OH NO!” said another onlooker as they spotted the white van. “This is going to get ugly,” they went on to add.

“Is this going to be on Can’t Pay, Take It Away?” asked another onlooker

“No. I think it will be on that new programme…Van Drivers Gone Wild,” replied another bystander.

Everybody got ready for fists flying and necks cracking. Rage, Anger and Discontent, all rolled into one.

But then…everybody ended up disappointed.

There was no confrontation and there was no street battle.

However, the White Van Man did get one up on the Bailiff, and he didn’t even have to get out of his van.

Could it be that our very own van white man is becoming smarter. Instead of seeing red and going instantly after the bailiff, the white van man made a simple phone call to give the bailiff what onlookers called…

“A taste of his own medicine.”

What happened here is the bailiff was on the street to do an eviction (nothing to do with the white van man).

But the bailiff decided it was ok to park in front of the drive of the white van, blocking it in.

“You can’t park there,” said the white van man from inside his van.”

“I can do what I want…I’m a bailiff!”

Trapped inside his drive like a lion in a cage, you would have expected fireworks at this moment. But no…a simple phone call led to something that nobody expected.

The Police came around and CLAMPED THE BAILIFF!!

Why? Because the white van man had a number of disabled stickers in his back window, which meant the bailiff had no right to park there.

While the bailiff was off doing an enforcement elsewhere on the street, his own van was being clamped.

So that is White Van Man 1 – Bailiff 0 – and the white van man didn’t even need to get out of his van.

Instead he sat patiently in his van and waited for the clamper to arrive. No doubt on his smartphone and visiting CVI to pass the time. Reading our blog posts and getting cheap van insurance from our 3 minute form.

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Complete your quick and easy quote

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