The Summer of…White Van Women

Last week our chief news reporter told the truth about white van men. “The summer of scam,” he reported while on the road.

This week a new report landed on our desk here at CVI headquarters, and while our CNR continued to tour the country in the CVI limo and find out the latest news regarding white van men…we decided to push this news story regarding white van women forward.

The report started off with the quote – “Everyone has heard of the white van man, but now it’s the ladies turn.”

What are they basing this on? Well, according to official statistics there was 26,166 women who filled in a van insurance application form last year…compared to 17,198 in 2016.

Right now in 2018 we can only imagine how many women have already got their van insurance online.

Of course, many of them decided to compare van insurance for their white vans right here, at The Nations Favourite.

3 minutes is all any white van woman needs to get around 40 quotes from well known van insurance companies and brokers.

“There is no denying owning a van has many benefits, and it seems female drivers are starting to jump on the bandwagon,” was another quote we found in the report.

Reading on…we discovered that white women van drivers actually pay less than their white van men husbands and brothers…£181 less in fact, with an average quote of £1025 per year for coverage.

Perhaps more women are visiting CVI than men, and that is the main reason why they get cheaper van insurance? It wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

As regular readers are well aware, the white van men are too busy causing mayhem on our nations roads and appearing in court – “white van men unhinged,” it was called.

Meanwhile the white van women were accessing CVI on their computers, laptops, tablets and mobile phones, and then getting cheaper quotes in only 3 minutes.

One of the boom professions right now that requires a white van is dog walking, and statistics show that females are embracing this profession more than males.

Light commercial vans are typically the main weapon of choice for professional female dog walkers, with white being their preferred colour and CVI being their favourite website.

Self employed female cleaners also enjoyed getting cheap van insurance on their white vans…while female care assistants also got great prices.

Let’s just hope these white van women don’t go the way of the white van man, although if there is any unleashings, unchainings or if any white van woman becomes unhinged, then you will be the first to hear about here at The Nations Favourite.

Speaking of which…we have just received a text from our CNR out who is touring the country in the CVI limo.

“You are not going to believe what just happened in Cardiff…” he wrote.

Stay tuned for the full story.

Van Meets Lamppost in Somerset – “I Can’t Believe It”

Somerset…the land of rolling hills, endless farm land and apples, so sweet and tasty, you could eat them all day.

It is also the land of lampposts, according to one resident who wishes to remain nameless. Although many of these lampposts are positioned away from the road, in designated pedestrian areas that are safe for power walkers and joggers.

So you can imagine the confusion when residents of a sleepy Somerset village awoke one morning and they looked out of their windows and saw…a council van smashed into a lamppost

This wasn’t an ordinary crash either. This was a full on SMASH. The kind of collision which means the van was a total writeoff.

What makes this story even more bizarre is the fact that the lamppost was nowhere near a road. Farm land? Yes. Apple trees? Yes…but roads? No.

According to one eye witness the council van had the wing completely ripped off and was in a state of such destruction the only logical place to take it was the scrap yard.

It really does make you wonder just what happened here? What caused this van to take a detour away from the roads and then drive along a pedestrian zone with such speed and power…that the collision meant a total writeoff.

Obviously the residents of this Somerset wanted answers so they turned up outside the council offices (without pitchforks) and demanded a spokesperson for Somerset council address the crowd.

It seems the South Somerset District Council are still not entirely sure what exactly happened, which means the crowd didn’t get the answers they demanded.

An official statement has mentioned that an investigation has been launched into the matter and the driver of the council van is unhurt but embarrassed

Apparently, one resident did offer the van driver a cup of tea although any other information is still light on the ground.

One clue that may shed some light on the situation is a grainy photo taken on the morning when the carnage was discovered.

While it isn’t exactly clear what we are looking at, the picture does seem to suggest the lamppost was directly in the middle of the foot path.

Could the council van have been trying to pull off some kind of spectacular manoeuvrer to swerve around the lamppost..only to have lost control at the last second? We may never find out the exact answer.

It remains a mystery, but the one thing that doesn’t remain a mystery is how to get cheap van insurance.

Van owners in Somerset flock here to CVI every year, and every year they are rewarded with cheap van insurance.

Arizona Dream? No, It’s a Reality

The state of Arizona has seen its fair share of van mayhem over the last 12 months. Who can forget “white van man in the desert?” You can’t.

Arizona really is a hotbed of van activity, but this past week it wasn’t British white van owners who were causing a stir in the dry American State, it was the self driving van.

Not just any old self driving van either. This was a Google self driving van, better known as a Waymo self driving van.

If you thought that eradicating white van men from the drivers seat was going to mean an end to the trail of destruction, rage, and all out carnage, then think again. Driver or no driver, these machines are still made for crashing.

While your average white van man was tucked up in bed in Britain, there was a Waymo self driving van being tested on the roads of Arizona during a particularly balmy evening.

However, before you start grabbing your pitchforks and heading down to Google HQ, you might want to find out exactly what happened here.

Yes Google have been known for causing crashes before (and then trying to flee the scene without giving insurance details), but in this particular story it appears things might be different.

Reports of the incident suggest that a Honda Sedan had to swerve to avoid another car, and in the process went right into the path of the Waymo self driving van.

That’s right. This Google Waymo machine was just innocently and quietly coasting along the hot tarmac of the Arizona highway and the “BAM” – there was a crash.

So a human driven car swerved to avoid a car…being driven by a human. It was the humble self driving van who was just minding its own business, and through no fault of its own became involved in the fracas.

Of course, the major news outlets have picked up the story and made Google Waymo and its self driving van the ENEMY, but here at CVI we are going to take a more realistic approach.

The truth of the matter is that self driving vans are the future, in America and in the UK, and if you are a tradesperson such as a roofer, builder, carpenter, plumper, electrician, general handy man or woman, or a “man” or “woman” with a van (and a plan), then the self driving van is going to be your bread and butter in the near future.

Stop seeing this technology as the enemy is my advice, and refuse to believe the hype that you read in those tabloids.

Here at CVI you only get the truth, and cheap van insurance quotes as well. Good times all round. You might even be able to save enough money on your next quote to go for a holiday to Arizona.

White Van Men On Tour Get GREEN LIGHT

Rage, discontent, and anger. These are all words that could have described your average white van man after Brexit happens.

Especially those white van owners who like to go “on tour.” Off they go, North, South, East, and West. Driving in their vans to go to far away lands, for business and pleasure.

It was thought that Brexit might have put a halt to these regular jaunts. A big RED LIGHT was expected to be staring each and every white van owner in the face, and, as we all know, when white van men are hindered in some way then the result is usually…all out destruction.

Initially, experts predicted that UK van insurance would no longer be valid on the roads of our European neighbours

That means if a British white van just wanted to go for a casual drive in the French countryside, then it would quickly be scanned by French Police.

“Monsieur..Monsieur..pas de taxes” they would be shouting.

A night in French prison would no doubt be in store for the white van man, which would probably push them to the brink.

Fortunately, this is not going to happen, due to the fact that it’s just been announced that UK van insurance will be accepted in the EU after Brexit has happened.

If you are stopped on the roads of France, Germany, Spain, or Rome…

Then all you need to do is show them Cheap Van Insurance on your smartphone…

and they will instantly leave you alone.

“It’s okay, I’m with CVI,” you say.

“Danke,” the German traffic police would say after they pulled you over on the Autobahn.

No fuss, no hassle, and no rage. Just a GREEN LIGHT for every white van owner in the country to go “on tour” and not get in any bother.

It could have been a lot different though. A Green card system had been proposed by European chiefs and an extra £10 fee to get European van insurance for UK drivers.

“Hola, tarjeta verde por favor ” the Spanish Police would say after pulling over the traditional UK white Ford Transit van.

“You what mate?” the white van driver would say…getting a bit hot under the collar.

“Tarjeta verde… AHORA!!“” the Spanish police would demand.

Who knows what would happen after that? We all know how white van men have, in the past, been unleashed and unchained, to the point where car doors have been ripped clean off.

Right now everybody is friends, and our white van drivers can move forward to the continent with a good mood and CVI on their phone.

“Orange” – The New Code for No Van Insurance

Sitting around and trying to make up your razzudocks what to do with the evening? You could go for a drive in your van and…

…play “hogs of the road” – with no van insurance…

“Code orange,” the police will say on their walkie talkies after scanning your van, and just like clockwork they pounce into action with flashing blue lights and all of that…

Just like what happened to one guy in Warrington. He went out into the countryside in his van with some off road bikes in the back. He then got the bikes out the back, and then…

BUSTED! “No van insurance and no tax,” according to official police reports, but it just goes to show you that police officers are everywhere and it only takes a quick “orange” into their radio mikes and the game is up.

The owner of that particular van in Warrington should have visited CVI to get some very cheap quotes.

Some people have said our site is the “Ludwig Van…of comparison sites.” Or as Ludwig Van himself was once called…”the CVI of classical music”…apparently

You could fill in our 3 minute form with Beethoven’s 9th Op 125 playing in the background, and then…once you get around 40 quotes…”Oh Bliss! I knew such lovely pictures!”

Unfortunately not everybody is taking our advice, just like the van driver who was caught in a place called Loudwater…

“Oh no,” said the van driver.

“well, well well well, well well well…” replied the police officer.

Yes, you’ve guessed it…it was that code “orange” again, and just like clockwork yet again, the police officers had zoned in on their target and brought justice to UK roads.

This particular van driver was driving a Mercedes van without any insurance and the eventual punishment was a £185 fine and being disqualified from driving for 28 days.

Just remember, if you take a chance of driving without van insurance then you might not just get off with a fine or disqualification. What could the punishment be instead? Well…

“655321” is now your prison number, something you will have to remember.

If you are going to take anything away from this blog post then it should be this…

“Thinking is for the gloopy ones. The omni one’s use like…inspiration.”

So use that inspiration right now…by filling out our 3 minute form and saving yourself a packet.

Thousands of van drivers around the country have already done the same. Isn’t it time you joined them? Of course it is. So don’t delay. Save money today by joining CVI, The Nations Favourite. .

No License, Van Insurance or Permission = Friends No More

When your van goes missing you don’t expect the culprit to be…a work colleague. Forget those criminal gangs. Everybody is a suspect.

The potential thief who is going to take your pride and joy could very well be a neighbour, family member, or even someone you are sharing a B&B room with.

That is exactly what happened in Manchester, where two men were doing some work in the area. To save money, only 1 B&B room was booked, although while one of the owner of the van was sleeping the other man…

…Took the keys for the van and decided to go off on an adventure. What kind of adventure? The kind where you have no driving license and no insurance for the van, but, most importantly you have no PERMISSION.

Let’s face it, if a friend just took your keys and drove off into the night with your van without any kind of permission then wouldn’t you be a bit miffed? Of course you would.

To make matters even worse, the man who went off in the van had apparently drunk 6 pints down the local boozer.

So just to sum up…he had no license, no insurance, no permission, and was drunk. Something tells me this story is not going to end well.

And it didn’t. Our boys and girls in Blue did their job for once and pulled over the friendly joyrider.

“It’s my mates van,” he could have said.

“Do you have permission from your mate?” the Police officer might have asked.

“No,” would have been the honest reply.

As we all know, any time the Police pull you over and find that you have no licence or insurance then you can expect to find yourself in trouble. A night down the local nick could be in store and a star appearance at the court is definitely going to happen.

So the man with no permission had his day in court and immediately pleaded guilty from the dock.

This was all the judge needed to hear, and with the trusty hammer firmly in her grasp she slammed it down with such force that everybody in the courtroom jumped a bit.

Jail time was not on the cards in this particular case, but a 12 month community order and 120 hours of unpaid work was.

Not only that, but he was also ordered to pay £85 costs and a £85 victim surcharge.

I think the moral of the story is…if you are thinking about going for a drive in a van that is not yours, then make sure you get permission.

Also, make sure you have a licence, and check to see if you are insured to drive the van.

Temporary van insurance can be compared right here of course, at CVI, The Nations Favourite.

Once you have permission then go directly to the top of the page and click on “get a quote.”

Van Drivers Say – “Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me…”

Have you ever woke up in a sweat late at night – “It was a planet…full of…those creatures from TV” you shout, recalling your dream..

Not Apes…but Meerkats…those adorable creatures we see on the TV who promote a certain comparison website. Compare the…you can fill in the rest.

It’s those meerkats who try to sell things such as van insurance, by tempting van drivers with the offer of 2 for 1 movie tickets and such things.

Who doesn’t like a good movie? I know I do, and I’m pretty sure that van drivers also do. Some even take the day off work to visit the cinema.

The problem is most van drivers are not really motivated by getting movie tickets when buying van insurance. Instead, they would prefer to simply get very cheap van insurance. It makes sense.

That is why all sensible van drivers flock here, in their droves.

“Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty…meerkat,” is what they say, before clicking away and going directly to the Nations Favourite…Cheap Van Insurance.

What if you could take advantage of those meerkats though? Well, now you can, thanks to a trick I’ve just heard about from ITV and money saving superstar, Martin Lewis.

On his website, there is details about how you can get movie tickets for only a pound or two, which works out really cheap when you consider that most people need to re-mortgage their home to visit the cinema these days.

What Martin advises is to get cheap travel insurance from the meerkat site, the very cheap kind that only costs you £1 or £2, and then you also be eligible for the movie tickets.

So that is 1-0 to the van drivers over those pesky meerkats.

“See you soon, losers!” Is what you will be shouting out of the window as you drive away in your van with the tickets blowing in the wind.

Of course, while it’s good to get cheap movie tickets you must remember that the serious business is done right here, at CVI.

Don’t even be tempted by those meerkats when they start banging on about comparing van insurance. Come directly here. Don’t hang around.

Don’t go anywhere else either. You might be tempted by other mascots such as “Dave van dog,” but while he might be one of the best ideas of all time, the reality is that even “Dave van dog” cannot get you cheap deals on your van insurance.

Fortunately you are in the right place, right now. The kind of place where 3 minutes of your time and a few basic details will give you…the most outstanding van insurance prices ever.

So here is your to-do list:

1) Trick the meerkats

2) Ignore “Dave van dog”

3) Get around 40 quotes from Cheap Van Insurance.

White Van Man – We Can’t Live (If Living is Without You)

Who can forget Mariah Carey and her classic song – Can’t Live (If Living is Without You) – but was she singing about white van men? Maybe…

If not, then her song could definitely be used as the “anthem” for the results of a new survey, which quite clearly shows that half of UK consumers could not do without white van drivers.

In every street of the UK, and in every town and city…the people of this great nation should join hands and sing together, in perfect harmony, for the white van men…”We can’t live (if living is without you.)”

In my opinion this is something that van van drivers need to hear right now, especially after all of the negative press they have received over the last 12 months.

Yes, even us here at CVI (The Nations Favourite), even us…we have been a part of that negativity with our blog posts about the exploits of white van owners.

Did we go too far? Maybe. Should our news reporter be fired? Perhaps. But, despite all of this negative attention these very same white van men continue to flock here in their droves. Do you know why? Cheap Van Insurance, that is why.

At the end of the day, getting cheap insurance for white vans is their bread and butter, so to speak, and where else can they find that but right here? Nowhere. This is the number one place to get those cheap quotes.

Do you know what else? Here at CVI we have decided to change our tone towards those hard working white van drivers. Our reporter has been called into the head office and been given a stern telling off. No more stories of white van drivers being “unchained” and “unleashed” we told him.

So Cheap Van Insurance is now a safe haven for white van men. You can come here on a weekly basis and expect us to sing your praises, just like this new survey of UK consumers did.

In that survey, it was revealed that 50% of people in our country have benefited from white van drivers in the last 24 hours, whether it be from having a product delivered or getting something fixed by a tradesperson.

The survey came to the conclusion that 9 out of 10 Brits would be in a worse position if it wasn’t for white van drivers.

Even the SMMT, AKA, The Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders…even they tipped their hats to the white van owners of our nation after hearing about the survey

It wouldn’t surprise me if the people of our nation get together to sing more songs for the men and women that drive white vans.

How about another song from a certain Mariah Carey? “And then a hero comes along, With the strength to carry on.”

Yes that’s right. “HERO” is the one word everybody should use when talking about white van owners from now on.

Then, once we have stopped singing, everybody here at CVI headquarters will go back to the office and put the “OPEN” sign on the front door once again.

“Open for business,” we will shout, and with that, CVI is the number 1 website for white van owners who want cheap prices.

“ACTION!” – The Van Insurance Scam Straight From a Movie

Most van insurance scams you can see a mile off. These scammers roam the country ready to pounce with brute force. No finesse required.

However, if reports are to be trusted then a new type of van insurance scam could be hitting the nation very soon. A type of scam that will make you ask yourself…”Just where are the movie cameras?”

It isn’t Hollywood where this scam is coming from though, oh no, it is further East. To the cold and snowy city of Moscow where van drivers often have to combat icy roads on a daily basis.

Don’t forget that our very own white van drivers have also been known to make their way behind the iron curtain, so to speak – White Van Men On Tour – it was called.

This new scam was all set to land on British shores without warning, that was until a Russian van driver picked up something on their dashcam.

That is why I advise all UK van drivers to buy dashcams for their vehicles. In fact, buy 2. One for the front and one for the back. They see everything.

Just like on this cold and icy winter morning in Moscow, where suddenly, and without warning, a young woman walked out in front of a van driving down the road.

The van driver braked with full force, but that didn’t stop the woman being hit, as she ended up on the bonnet.

Was the van driver to blame? Without the dashcam footage many would no doubt have said so, but, the dashcam showed a completely different story.

What it showed was the woman jumping from the side of the road and into the path of the van. After reviewing the footage it was described as a “theatrical” jump. Almost like a Hollywood stunt actor trying to win some kind of award.

The incident was definitely worthy of a well paid stuntwoman as she jumped right into the bonnet with a precision that many would not believe…if they didn’t see it right there on the dashcam footage.

So was this woman auditioning for a Hollywood blockbuster or was something else the motivation that day? It was the latter.

“Van Insurance Scam,” is what the driver shouted in his local language when he reviewed the footage. You couldn’t fool this guy.

His friends agreed, and when they showed the footage to the local police they agreed as well. “Take her to the gulag,” was their solution. That is how they deal with van insurance scammers in Russia.

Is it how they are going to deal with the same crime here in the UK? I don’t think so, and unfortunately many of these scammers will probably be very successful jumping in front of vans and making insurance claims.

The only way that you, the British van driver can protect yourself from this madness is to get the best van insurance possible. It all starts with our 3 minute form.

Van “Mayhem” on the English Riviera

Where is van crime the most dangerous, the most wild, and even the most outrageous…London, Glasgow or Cardiff? No.

In fact, it is the English Riviera AKA Torquay where van criminals are having a field day and van drivers are out of control.

Take the incident in Torquay that happened recently, involving a…yes, you guessed it – WHITE VAN MAN!

When will they ever learn? Never is my answer, and it’s the reason why white van owners have such a bad reputation everywhere in the UK, even the English Riviera

Details of the incident are light on information. What we do know is that it involved a van and a motorcyclist, and according to witnesses the van driver was at fault.

Rage was something else that was witnessed – “I’m going to give you a damn good thrashing,” could have been said. We are still waiting for confirmation.

Does it stop there though…does it ever! This is Torquay we are talking about here. Sure, it is known for having great hotels with the highest possible standard of service and amazing views from all hotel rooms, but, it is also known for being a hot spot of van crime.

This was recently illustrated in a night of total carnage where arsonists completely destroyed a Green Citroen Relay van.

It happened at some point between 9:45pm and 10pm on an unusually cold April night in Torquay, and before long that van was a total write off.

I just hope that this particular owner had good van insurance to cover the damage.

Every van owner in Torquay should have the best van insurance in my opinion. If you don’t, then what are you waiting for? Fill in our 3 minute form right now.

Police are appealing for witnesses to the event, although as usual, it is expected that the public response will be – “I know nothing.”

Some tourists, who have come from places such as Barcelona and California are said to be horrified at the total van destruction they have seen on the mean streets of Torquay.

Yes, they enjoyed a Waldorf Salad, even when arriving at the hotel late, but if these tourists took just a small step away from the tourist area then they would quickly get a glimpse of really goes on behind the scenes of the English Riviera

The most common incident within the van community in Torquay? Theft.

So much so that Police have issued a warning for all van owners in and around Torquay after a recent crime spree.

Remember, these van thieves are more like Houdini than your typical old timer smash and grab criminals. You never even see them.

Van owners might go out for a Gourmet night, only to be frustrated by the lack of duck, and then be even more frustrated when they get to the car park only to find their power tools have been nicked. It happens all the time.

Don’t take the chance…make sure you are fully covered with the right van insurance by getting quotes right here at The Nations Favourite.

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