Tag: cheap van insurance

Waymo Self Driving Vans – Why So Much Hate?

Posted on by News Desk

We haven’t seen too much of self driving vans here in the UK…but across the pond in the USA…they are starting to attract attention.

Take Arizona for example, where a Waymo self driving van attracted the wrong kind of attention.

A shirtless man jumped in front of the Waymo self driving van and pulled out a gun. A 22 caliber Harrington and Richardson Sportsman revolver to be exact.

He pointed the gun directly at the self driving van, but no bullets were fired that day.

Police are saying this was an act of intimidation towards the Waymo. A way of saying…”get out of my neighbourhood, you are not welcome here.”

The man was later arrested (still with no shirt on) and taken to County Jail where he was charged and awaits sentence.

Arizona Police have warned this is not an isolated incident and is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to “Waymo HATE” in the scorching heat of the Arizona Desert.

Apparently it is a common sight to see rocks being thrown at self driving Waymo vans, and one van even had its tire slashed while stopping at a red light.

Other enraged Arizona residents have gone on yelling tirades against the Waymo vans, while another vigilante in a jeep forced the same Waymo self driving van off the road 6 times.

Why so much hate? I think many humans are starting to feel marginalised in this new world of automated technology and robots. Maybe they even feel threatened, almost as if the robots are taking over?

In my opinion this is just their way of saying…”we are still here. We still run this town.”

Only it is a losing battle, because self driving vans are very much here to stay both in America and around the world.

Here at CVI we applaud the efforts of Waymo and their self driving vans and we condemn vigilante acts in Arizona or anywhere else in America.

Hopefully the same thing doesn’t start to happen here on UK shores when Waymo, Ford, Apple, and Tesla start ruling the roads with their self driving vans.

We hope all of you van owners embrace the change and roll out the red carpet for this new technology.

Unfortunately I reckon there may be some problems. Perhaps some disgruntled (former) delivery drivers who are out of a job or a white van man just looking for any opportunity to let off some steam and some rage.

Fortunately you will be able to read about all of the exploits here at the CVI Blog. While at the same time comparing van insurance from around 40 companies and brokers.

They Stopped Him For Sliding Ladders, And Then…

Posted on by News Desk

It was a rainy and dreary morning in the city of Hull. In the distance you could just make out the familiar outline of the Humber Bridge.

The road was slick from the rain and Humberside Police were scanning the area like hawks, looking for their prey.

And then…they found their prey, and it was a, yes you have guessed it…

White Van Man!

Was this white van man going on tour or about to fly into a rage or shouting “chase me chase me,” from the window?

In a word…NO.

Actually, this was a builder on his way to a job. No doubt to build a wall or do some kind of brick work. There was probably even some cement and sand in the back, and maybe even a couple of bottles of tap water to mix it together.

Nothing out of the ordinary you would think, until you looked up and saw the sliding ladders.

Slipping and sliding all over the place they were. Sliding here and sliding there…they really were sliding everywhere.

However, they didn’t fall off the van. It was like a delicate balance. Just enough one way and then turn the steering wheel the other way. Like balancing a tennis ball on your head.

But the Humberside Police were having none of this.

“Should we pull him off the road,” said the first Police Officer.

“Yeah…pull him off,” said the second Police Officer.

Then, when everybody had pulled to the side of the road, the First Police Officer approached the van with caution while the Second Officer covered his back.

“You ever hear of a roof rack, sir?”

After a brief exchange it turned out the white van man was harmless and wasn’t about to go on a rampage worthy of VDGW.

However, while he was being a given a stern talking to at the side of the road and was having his particulars taken down…the second police officer scanned his van with the ANPR scanner.

“Bleep Bleep”

And guess what? Yes you guessed it…

No Van Insurance!

“Looks like somebody hasn’t visited Cheap Van Insurance?” Said the second police officer.

“You naughty boy,” said the first police officer.

It is a bit naughty, isn’t it? Not spending 3 minutes of your time to compare van insurance quotes from around 40 companies and brokers.

3 Minutes and you are sorted, and then you WON’T have 2 police officers bending you over your van bonnet and handcuffing you.

Oh yeah. And make sure all of you white van men (and women) secure your ladders with a roof rack and some rope or something. It is so simple, and so easy…just like our 3 minute form.

Police Chase White Van Man in Norwich

Posted on by News Desk

“Chase me, chase me, chase,” taunted the white van man. Pretty soon the cops were hot on his tail.

This happened in Norwich. The place well known for endless farm land and plenty of service stations to keep van drivers stocked up when they pass through.

Plenty of van owners in Norwich agree that CVI is The nations favourite and they visit our 3 minute form on a yearly basis to renew their van insurance and just have a good time in general.

“Back of the net!” they say, when confronted with around 40 cheap quotes from our trusted partners.

“CVI does it again,” they say, and in minutes their van insurance is SORTED for another year.

Back to the story and this particular white van man in Norwich was driving a vauxhall Astra van. Reports are unconfirmed if he is a CVI customer although chances are he is.

“The Nations favourite,” he may have shouted out the window when chased by the cops

“I’m doing this for CVI,” he could have added.

To all of our faithful white van men (and women) out there. Please don’t do that. You may be ecstatic at getting the cheapest van insurance price…EVER…but that doesn’t mean you should challenge the cops to a duel.

And if you are high on your own supply? Then you are not welcome at CVI. Sorry.

We pass on grass, and we encourage you to do the same.

It isn’t clear if the Norwich white van man was mashed up on puff the magic dragon. The Police couldn’t test his blood, although this will soon change with a new era of police vans.

The pursuit lasted for a good 30 minutes. Around and about the roads of Norwich they went. Weaving from side to side and avoiding the sheep on country roads.

And then into Norwich town centre, where terrified onlookers saw the white van speeding past…with the flashing blue lights of the boys in blue close behind.

It all came to a halt in the suburbs of Norwich, and they handcuffed the white van man for his trouble.

“Your nicked!”

“fair cop, guv.”

The Norwich van driver has since been charged with dangerous driving and he pleaded guilty.

He awaits a sentence, although it is expected he will spend time in the nick.

Hopefully he learns his lesson, and he can read our van insurance blog to pass the time. It might even be the best few months he has ever spent.

War On Drugs – Vans Lead The Way

Posted on by News Desk

Capturing Pablo Escobar in a Columbian town or arresting El Chapo at the Mexican Border…that has been the war on drugs. Until now…

Enter the humble van. It isn’t much to look at, I’m sure you will agree, but it could be about to become the biggest weapon in the war on drugs around the world.

Forget about hunting down drug lords in the jungles and mountains of South America. Say hello to the special Police van which brings the war to the roads of our towns and cities and the drug users who get behind the wheel.

This special Police van is currently being trialled…in America. But experts are expecting it to be on our roads within months.

So what is so special about this Police Van anyway? Quite simply, the back of the van is a portable drug testing lab, the likes of which you have never seen before.

This gives the Police new powers which can test drivers for drug use within minutes. And if found to be a “user” then they are hauled off in that very same van…directly to prison.

This special van is like a machine designed for hunting down the drug users and then carting them off to the jail house. Never before have we seen a vehicle so efficient. It really will make drug users think twice before snorting up and then getting behind the wheel.

“If you think a bit of puff the magic dragon is fine, then get ready to do the time,” is what a CVI spokesperson had to say when asked about the special Police Van and the global war on drugs in general.

“Here at CVI we have a zero tolerance policy on drugs and we only welcome van owners who are drug free and not planning to drive high on their own supply,” the spokesperson went on to add.

“If you are planning to fill out our 3 minute form while mashed up out of your face then think again. You are barking up the wrong tree…go to one of them other van insurance comparison sites who might be a bit more drug friendly,” the spokesperson said.

Back to the story and these special drug police vans are equipped with a chair and table in the back…where a suspect can be restrained and his or her blood taken…then the blood is immediately analysed and if found to be laced with drugs then…BINGO…Off-to-prison you go.

It’s good to see we are soon going to be winning the war on drugs, and with vans and CVI on their side, I’m sure the Police will soon have all of the drug lords, drug dealers and drug users under lock and key.

BANNED (And Dangerous?) – VDGW

Posted on by News Desk

It sounds like a new episode of VDGW (Van Drivers Gone Wild) doesn’t it? Unfortunately the VDGW cameras didn’t catch this on tape.

This story happened in Yorkshire, a place made famous by the classic TV programme “Traffic Cops.”

Our very own VDGW will soon reach the lofty heights of “Traffic Cops,” you can bet on that, and it will soon even challenge “Can’t Pay, Take It Away,” as The Nations Favourite.

Back to the story and a Yorkshire van driver who was BANNED from driving decided it was ok for him to get behind the wheel.

He didn’t care that his license had been ripped up and didn’t care that he didn’t have any van insurance.

It was his cousin’s van to be exact, although his cousin had broke his toe which meant he couldn’t drive.

“Get behind the wheel for me, cuz?” might have been the words spoken between the pair.

So the cousin did what a good cuz would do and got behind the wheel of the white van.

No license and no insurance…was this man dangerous? Did he go on a rampage worthy of VDGW?

In a word…No.

In fact, reports suggest he was a very careful driver who moved through the gears smoothly, stuck to the speed limit, and drove with hands at 10 and 2.

Some onlookers even suggested he waved at old women while driving and slammed his breaks on to allow a kitten to cross the road.

The perfect driver? Maybe, and model citizen? Perhaps…And he would have got away with as well if it hadn’t have been for…

A defective light!

Those “Traffic Cops” were soon right up his rear van door and flashing their blue lights.

“I’m going to pull this guy off the road,” said one Traffic Cop in a thick Yorkshire accent.

“Yeah, pull him off,” said his partner.

Long story short. This disqualified van driver found himself in court on charges of driving while disqualified and driving with no insurance.

“I’m Guilty,” he said in front of a shocked jury.

“I’m sending you to prison then,” replied the judge as the trusty hammer was slammed down.

“I’ve already got my bag packed,” replied the van driver.

Let this be a reminder to every van driver out there…

If you don’t have van insurance then you could go to prison.

The Police are becoming tougher on van drivers without insurance. It doesn’t matter if you are a safe driver or a nice guy…if you don’t have insurance then you could end up in the slammer.

So make sure you get insured today by filling in our 3 minute form. You have the power to compare over 40 companies and brokers, and will be amazed at the very cheap van insurance prices.

Wigan White Van Man Caught Red Handed!

Posted on by News Desk

As every white van man gets into his trusty white van in the morning there are certain things he has to check for…

Ham sandwiches? Check.

Flask of tea? Check.

Blanket? Check.

Cheap Van Insurance? Check.

Mobile Phone? er…Check.

However, it is the humble mobile phone which can give white van men the most trouble. As innocent as it looks, that phone can land you a hefty fine from the law, and it may even land you in prison.

Just like one Wigan white van man who took a quick call from a client while driving down a quiet side street.

“Alright mate,” the Wigan white van man answered, followed by…”Ahhhhhh, No!”

Those flashing blue lights of the rozzers were quickly in his rear view mirror, and in no time at all they had pulled him off the road and were taking down his particulars.

He was caught red handed using a mobile phone while at the wheel, and usually when this happens then BY LAW you will be fined at least £200 pounds and given 6 points on your licence.

This Wigan white van man wasn’t going to give in though, and he fought the law, but did the law win? Yes, eventually

A year later the Wigan white van man had his day in court and he lost. The judge slammed down the hammer and ordered him to pay a fine £1654 pounds, as well as pay the £200 pound fine for the mobile phone offence and the 6 points on his licence

Our advice to all white van men in this nation of ours, no matter if you are in Wigan or Wales…DON’T TOUCH IT!

If you are driving your white van then under no circumstances should your hands move out of view from the steering wheel at 10 and 2.

If you are reaching down below to touch your mobile phone then don’t come complaining to us if the Police have you banged to rights.

Even if you was just looking on your phone to check the CVI blog on a Tuesday to see if the latest blog post had arrived. What you should do is pull over the van on a country lane well out of sight, and then turn off your engine and take the keys out of the ignition.

Then, and only then, are you safe to read the CVI blog and compare Cheap Van Insurance from around 40 companies and brokers at our famous 3 minute form.

White Van Man VS Bailiff – “OH NO!”

Posted on by News Desk

It is the confrontation you have all been waiting for. The moment a white van man meets a bailiff. Everybody looked on in anticipation.

“The summer of rage is upon us,” said one onlooker as the burly bailiff looked mean and keen and ready for a ruck.

“OH NO!” said another onlooker as they spotted the white van. “This is going to get ugly,” they went on to add.

“Is this going to be on Can’t Pay, Take It Away?” asked another onlooker

“No. I think it will be on that new programme…Van Drivers Gone Wild,” replied another bystander.

Everybody got ready for fists flying and necks cracking. Rage, Anger and Discontent, all rolled into one.

But then…everybody ended up disappointed.

There was no confrontation and there was no street battle.

However, the White Van Man did get one up on the Bailiff, and he didn’t even have to get out of his van.

Could it be that our very own van white man is becoming smarter. Instead of seeing red and going instantly after the bailiff, the white van man made a simple phone call to give the bailiff what onlookers called…

“A taste of his own medicine.”

What happened here is the bailiff was on the street to do an eviction (nothing to do with the white van man).

But the bailiff decided it was ok to park in front of the drive of the white van, blocking it in.

“You can’t park there,” said the white van man from inside his van.”

“I can do what I want…I’m a bailiff!”

Trapped inside his drive like a lion in a cage, you would have expected fireworks at this moment. But no…a simple phone call led to something that nobody expected.

The Police came around and CLAMPED THE BAILIFF!!

Why? Because the white van man had a number of disabled stickers in his back window, which meant the bailiff had no right to park there.

While the bailiff was off doing an enforcement elsewhere on the street, his own van was being clamped.

So that is White Van Man 1 – Bailiff 0 – and the white van man didn’t even need to get out of his van.

Instead he sat patiently in his van and waited for the clamper to arrive. No doubt on his smartphone and visiting CVI to pass the time. Reading our blog posts and getting cheap van insurance from our 3 minute form.

“Are You Clucking With Me?” Said The Van Driver

Posted on by News Desk

“Is this is a clucking joke?” the van driver went on to add. “No it isn’t sir, and can you mind the language please, there are children here.”

“Oh just cluck off!” said the frustrated van driver as he turned on his engine and sped out of the KFC car park.

The van driver had been out to enjoy a KFC meal with dips. £5.70 was the exact price. “A change from ham sandwiches and pot noodles,” the van driver said.

Was it finger lickin good? No doubt it was, because as you are no doubt aware, KFC is the nations favourite…fast food chicken place.

Just like CVI is the nations favourite…cheap van insurance place. One of these days we should do a joint venture, especially since pot noodle never returned our call and those pesky meerkats seem to have the restaurant and pizza game under lock and key.

KFC could be the only avenue left for CVI to get into the fast food business…but once that partnership is in place then get ready for a chicken and cheap van insurance storm you have never seen before.

That was the plan anyway, until this recent story which seems to paint a different picture of KFC.

One of our very own white van men was sitting in his van in the KFC car park, enjoying his chicken and reading the CVI blog on his smartphone. When all of a sudden some jobsworth car park attendant swooped his van and slapped a £100 parking fine on his windscreen.

This led to our white van man to start “clucking” and as you can imagine there was a lot of rage, anger, and discontent.

Apparently the car park attendant slapped him with the fine for overstaying the 90 minute limit. Witnesses have confirmed the attendant was not dressed as a chicken.

“I’m not clucking paying it,” the van driver is thought to have said when asked about the fine.

This means the whole incident is now going to court, and if unsuccessful then the van driver will have to pay over £300 in costs.

The good news is that if he does lose then he could just visit the CVI 3 minute form and potentially save £300 on his van insurance.

“£300 to KFC…£300 saved on van insurance,” not a bad deal for the van driver I’m sure you will agree?

In defence of KFC it has come to light that the car park is not owned by them, which means they have nothing to do with the situation.

Does this means the partnership of KFC and Cheap Van Insurance is back on? It could be, and if so, then it would be clucking amazing.

Most Expensive and Cheapest Place to Insure Your Van…

Posted on by News Desk

The facts are in. There is no more guessing…and here at CVI HQ we are shocked, to say the least. “WOW,” was the mood in the canteen at lunch.

We were sure that London would be the most expensive place to insure your van. How WRONG we were.

The official facts paint a completely different picture. A picture where London has been knocked off the top spot by a surprise city that you might not have guessed.

And the award for the most expensive van insurance city goes to…

Oldham!

That city in Lancashire where not much ever happens…apart from van crime by the looks of it.

If you are a van owner in Oldham then you pay on average of £1630. “I really can’t believe it,” said the CVI canteen manager when asked for a comment.

Luton and Slough make up number 2 and number 3 on the most expensive places to insure your van list, while West Bromwich and Manchester came in at number 4 and number 5.

That means that…

London is number 6 on the list.

“That really surprised me Dave,” said PAL, our new van insurance pal technology

“I expected London to be higher,” PAL went on to add.

Now that we have heard about the most expensive places, how about the cheapest places?

And the award for cheapest place to insure your van goes to…

Newcastle-Under-Lyme!

That’s right. It was Newcastle-Under-Lyme where van owners are only paying on average £567 a year to insure their vans.

“Is Newcastle-Under-Lyme the same place as Newcastle?” asked our caretaker.

“No it isn’t…they are different places,” replied PAL.

Chesterfield and Redditch got number 2 and number 3 on the list, while Shrewsbury and Harrogate came in at number 4 and number 5 cheap places to insure your van.

Here at CVI we want to make it clear to all van owners in this nation of ours…it doesn’t matter if you are in the most expensive or most cheapest list…YOU can still save money on van insurance right now.

You can live in Oldham and potentially save hundreds of pounds on your van insurance in 3 minutes or less.

You can live in Newcastle-Under-Lyme and potentially save hundreds of pounds on your van insurance in 3 minutes or less.

You can live anywhere. 3 minutes or less is all it takes. Right here at CVI. The website of the people.

2019: A Cheap Van Insurance Odyssey

Posted on by News Desk

8am and the CVI employees enter the main entrance, many communicate in grunts and shoves, just like early man.

It is a new day and a new chance to give people cheap van insurance. Thousands of UK van owners visit the CVI website in the morning, using their computers, laptops, tablets and smartphones to do so.

12:32pm and the CVI employees file into the CVI canteen, still communicating in grunts and still acting like primates. 2 employees fight over the last rack of ribs from the buffet…one grabs it and smashes it on the floor in an act of rage…then throws a single bone in the air in an act of defiance.

Cut to…

1:45pm and the mood is more relaxed now within the CVI HQ. The Blue Danube plays over the tanoy and the real business of the day is in full swing.

Thousands more van owners visit the site to get cheap van insurance and our team are working at full pace now. In the moment..like a well oiled machine

The senior technician is involved in a different task…something major…he is working behind closed doors, in a top secret location.

This “closed off” part of CVI HQ is more futuristic and high tech. The senior technician is wearing a suit that looks like a space suit.

And then, at…

4:01pm – the mood is jovial as the whole team enter the “closed off” area for the first time and stand around for a big unveiling..this is what the senior technician has been working on.

The boss pulls the cord and unveils…

PAL – Your Cheap Van Insurance Pal

You’ve heard of Auto Meerkat high five and Ivan The Terrible…now say hello to PAL.

Every van owner in the country can install PAL and then get cheap van insurance on command – easily compare companies and brokers using your voice.

PAL will quickly become the hub of any household – and he can do other things as well.

“Sing for us PAL” said the senior technician

“What should I sing Dave?”

“How about that song I taught you…remember?”

“Oh yes Dave…Daisy, Daisy…Give me your answer do…”

Everybody at CVI HQ applauds and “amazing,” says the canteen manager – “this is the future,” said the caretaker.

Later in the day and it is…

8:45pm

Everybody has gone home except the boss and the head of the SEO department.

They are locked away in a top secret meeting room discussing strategy about how to rank CVI in Google and Bing in 2019 and beyond.

Outside the room…PAL looks on…watching their lips…first the head of the SEO department …then the boss. Just watching, some would say…lip reading.

20 minutes later and the meeting is over. The boss says the words…

“Open the meeting room doors PAL…”

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