Author: News Desk

Chesterfield Man Had No Van Insurance or License

Posted on by News Desk

What are the two things you should always have when entering a van and turning on the engine? Van insurance and a license.

Especially van insurance. That is the most important thing if you ask me, because you should always have protection.

Its also illegal to drive without van insurance and without a license…so when a man in a van in the town of Chesterfield decided to hit the roads with neither insurance or a license he was committing a double whammy.

This man was now prime prey for the law.

If you break the law once you might just get away with it if the cops don’t notice you.

However, if you break the law twice…in one van, and in one journey. Well, they are going to be hunting you down. You can bet on that.

So you can bet your bottom dollar the Police patrols were wide eyed and on high alert when they caught a whiff of this guy cruising down the A6.

Once the “beep beep” scanners went off they would have proclaimed “GOTCHA!” and then it would have been sirens blazing and blue lights flashing. And the man in the van would have like “Oh No!”

“Would you mind stepping out of the van please sir,” the Police officer in the neatly pressed suit would have said.

“Alright, fair cop mate,” the man in the van would have replied.

Pretty soon the whole game would have been up and while sitting in the back of that Police car the van man would have admitted he had no insurance and no license.

“Why didn’t you just head to CheapVanInsurance.co.uk? Its so simple, anyone can do it.” said one police officer.

“And its cheap too,” added the other police officer.

“yes its cheap,” repeated the first.

“I don’t know what to say. I messed up. Please don’t throw the book at me. Give me one more chance,” pleaded the van man.

“Only a judge can judge you now, son,” came the reply from the Police officer.

And so it came to be, that on a brisk and sunny morning at Chesterfield Court, the man in the van stood in the dock and waited for a verdict from the judge.

The jury gasped when they heard he had no license, and they gasped when they heard he had fake number plates.

But the biggest gasp came when it was revealed he didn’t have any van insurance.

“Why didn’t he just go to Cheap Van Insurance?” said one jury member.

“I know…it only takes 3 minutes and he could have very cheap van insurance,” said another.

The Judge slammed down the hammer. “A £225 fine and 6 points on your license.”

“It would have been cheaper just to visit Cheap Van Insurance,” noted one spectator.

Full Metal Bracket

Posted on by News Desk

The Police Sergeant arrived on the scene. A strict man who was formerly in the military. He took no nonsense.

“What in the heck are you doing here?” asked the sergeant.

“Who are you,” replied the man, who was pottering about at the back of a van.

“I’M ASKING THE QUESTIONS!” scolded the sergeant.

“From now on you will speak only when spoken to…do you understand me?”

“Sir, yes, sir,” replied the mysterious man round the back of the van.

“Now let’s start again…what in the heck are you doing here?”

“SIR, sorting through my tools, sir.”

“I didn’t realise a clown needed tools. You really do look like a Joker.”

“Sir, I’m not a clown sir…I’m a handyman.”

“A HANDYMAN…and what have we got here…hammers, wrenches, plungers…and what in the name of Santa Claus is this Joker?”

“SIR, I just got it from B&Q, sir…its a Full Metal Bracket sir.”

“I didn’t ask for your life story Joker…what in earth do you need a full metal bracket for?”

“sir, to wall mount a pair of speakers, sir.”

The sergeant looked more closely into the back of the van.

“And what do you call this?”

“Sir, an iced bun, sir.”

“AN ICED BUN! You’ve got to be kidding me…do you know how hard it is to get icing out of a plunger…and do you really want your dirty plunger touching your iced bun?”

“SIR NO SIR.”

“Where should this iced bun be?”

“Sir, In my lunchbox sir.”

“So put it there JOKER!”

“Before you do that…I need to teach you a lesson. One you will never forget. Grab your plunger and grab your iced bun and follow me down the street. MARCH. Now repeat after me…”

“This is my plunger, This is my iced bun”
“This is for plumbing, This is for fun”

“This is my plunger, This is my iced bun”
“This is for plumbing, This is for fun.”

“Now run behind me at a steady pace. Let’s go around the block and repeat after me…

“I don’t want no pukka pie”
“I just want CVI”
“I don’t know but I’ve been told”
“Eskimo van insurance is mighty cold”

“Now STOP Joker. Look here at my smartphone. I’m connecting to CVI, the Nations Favourite and filling in the details of your van. Ok here come the quotes…

“Get some”

“Get some”

“Get some”

“Get some”

The sergeant said as every quote came through, one by one from van insurance companies and brokers.

================================================================

And that, oh faithful readers of CVI is where the story ends. These are the last words our CNR wrote before he headed off to Paris, France, and now he is doing time in Bordeaux at a maximum security prison.

Hi, it’s the JNR here and you might be wondering what this story is all about? After doing some research it appears our CNR was actually writing about a story where a thief convinced a police sergeant he was the owner of the van…before making off with £9000 worth of tools.

This happened right outside of the house where the real van owner was sleeping. He awoke to find his van had been ransacked.

Initially the sergeant was sceptical, but the thief convinced him he was the real deal, and once the sergeant left the scene then in about 20 minutes the thief had wiped out the van and disappeared into the early morning.

Fortunately the story does have a happy ending as the thief was eventually caught and is now doing 5 months inside for his trouble.

How everyone here at CVI HQ wishes our CNR was only doing 5 months but instead he is doing 7 years. It is going to be a long time until we read such genius again.

27% of Accidents Caused by This Van Brand

Posted on by News Desk

Van drivers are a predictable bunch. They pack their ham sandwiches and flasks of tea and get road rage at 8:25am every morning.

In between eating their lunch and honking their horn…they also get into accidents. Sad but true. But if there was no accidents there would be no need for van insurance, and that would mean…

Cheap Van Insurance wouldn’t exist And we can’t have that, can we?

So van accidents are here to stay, and there is one particular brand of van that is right at the top of the accident Premier League.

The award goes to…

Ford.

That’s right, if you drive a Ford van then according to a recent survey you are most likely out of all van drivers to be involved in a pile up or fender bender.

The survey shows us that 27% of accidents are caused by a Ford.

More specifically, it is the Ford Transit which is the number 1 culprit…

And even more specifically, it is the…yes you guessed it…

The WHITE Ford Transit van.

In other words, the WHITE Van Man.

When will they ever learn? Never if you ask me.

We should have guessed it though shouldn’t we? Did we really need to look at the survey to know that white van owners would be making an appearance right at the top of the list? We could have easily guessed the outcome.

That’s not to say all white van drivers are out of control and back to the “Summer of Rage,” but as the weather starts to turn frosty and chilly, I reckon some white van drivers need to chill out a bit.

What better way to chill right out than by spending a bit of quality time on our 3 minute form.

If you are a white Ford Transit van driver and your van insurance renewal is looming just over the horizon then use our 3 minute form to compare around 40 insurers and brokers.

You should get the cheapest van insurance quotes ever, even if you drive a White Ford Transit Van.

27% of van accidents might include you…but…if you save 50% off your current price then it puts you in a pretty good position, wouldn’t you agree?

Back to the survey and other van brands most likely to be causing destruction on our nations roads include Vauxhall (17%) and Volkswagen (11%).

No matter what make, model, or colour of van you drive…and no matter if you are a saint or a sinner while behind the wheel…you can get cheap van insurance quotes at the click of a button right here.

Van Insurance Down 5%? (And Important Announcement)

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“Could it be?” Van drivers such as yourself are saying around this nation of ours. “Is van insurance really down in 2018?”

According to Consumer Intelligence that is exactly what is happening right now. Van insurance is down…and it is down a whopping 5%!

Why? Mainly because of the Civil Liability Bill, which means it is easier to crack down on the fraudsters and save the van insurance companies from having to pay out for fraudulent claims.

They can then pass on the savings to you, the hard working van driver.

I wouldn’t get too excited if I was you. Don’t start breaking out the party hats and balloons just yet, because if I was you then I would consider two important factors first.

Number 1: Do you really trust the van insurance companies to hold their promise and keep on passing on the 5% into your bank account? How long until it goes into their bank account? Think about it.

Number 2: Although van insurance is down over the last 3 months by 5%…over the last 4 years and 6 months it is actually up by 34.9%. The overall trend is simple…

Van Insurance is getting MORE EXPENSIVE!

The solution is to use a van insurance comparison website, such as ours, and then get quotes from as many companies as possible.

Many of our trusted partners fight with each other to win your business. And is the reason why you will find such cheap quotes.

Thousands of plumbers, carpenters, white van men and women, electricians, men (or women) with a van, removal companies, and LCV owners have used our simple 3 minute form to get cheap van quotes time and time again.

Give it a try for yourself right now.

P.S. Important Announcement From CVI

Imagine…finding a lost sheet of music written by Ludwig Van Beethoven.

Or picture this…finding a lost painting by Pablo Picasso. Something that nobody has ever seen before.

Well, here at CVI headquarters we have something just as amazing.

As you may be aware, our Chief News Reporter was recently arrested in France and sentenced to 7 years in the maximum security prison de Bordeaux. We believe he is innocent.

Yesterday we were sorting through his desk, looking for any clues of innocence when…

We found a single sheet of A4 paper, still fresh, like it had only been ripped out of a pad yesterday.

This piece of paper features the last known work of our CNR. Quite possibly his last composition. Who knows.

At the top of the page was the headline:

“Full Metal Bracket.”

And although an unfinished piece, it is an instant classic. Quite possibly his best.

We will be posting it next week for all of you CVI enthusiasts to read and then our JNR will finish it off with a few facts about the news story.

Make sure you tune in for that…oh…and don’t forget to fill in our 3 minute form if you want Cheap Van Insurance.

Top 5 Van “Pun” Names Revealed

Posted on by News Desk

There is nothing wrong in calling your van based business something like “Dave’s Removal Company” or “Jane’s Plumbing.” It gets the job done.

However, some people like to get creative, to the point where their business is based around a “pun” and it makes everyone say “ahhhhh” when they hear it.

Not only that, but when you drive your van down the high road and your pun business name is printed on the side, then everybody stops and stares and points. Some people even give you a wave.

So what are the top 5 van “pun” names? Keep reading to discover more…

He-Van, Movers of the Universe

Our favourite has to be this one. “He-Van, Movers of the Universe” just has a certain ring to it, don’t you agree? It is the type of pun that has no doubt put this van based removal business on the map.

They have been Movers of the Universe in Brighton since 2010, and word of mouth suggests they keep on going from strength to strength.

Spandau Valet

Coming in at a close second is “Spandau Valet,” who, as you might have guessed, are a mobile valet company operating out of a van.

They have taken inspiration from that famous 80’s band that we all know and love, while at the same time, they apparently use Cheap Van Insurance to get amazing quotes for valet companies. Good on them I say.

Floral and Hardy

If you sell flowers and you deliver them directly to the doors of your customers, then you need a name that stands out, wouldn’t you agree?

That is why “Floral and Hardy” takes the number 3 position our list. Simple but effective…just like CVI and our 3 minute form.

Barber Streisand

Mobile hairdressing and barbers are becoming more popular, and they use LCV’s to get around and go to cut and shave their customers hair.

One particular mobile barber has come up with the pun “Barber Streisand.”

“Amazing”…is all we can say!

Bonny Tiler

Cheap Van Insurance is known for being the home of tradespeople with vans around this nation of ours…especially tilers and roofers.

That is why the name “Bonny Tiler” really caught our attention and deserves its rightful place right here on our top 5 list.

I’m sure the owners of Bonny Tiler are “holding out for a hero” every single year at van insurance renewal time…and then they find their hero…CVI…The website of the people!

Van Drivers VS BMW Drivers – Who Wins? Derbyshire Decides

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Who are the most hated drivers on the road? Is it those white van men who get so much bad press, or is it BMW drivers? Read on…

It was the county of Derbyshire who were asked their opinion, that place which is famous for being the neighbour of Nottinghamshire.

2000 people in Derbyshire were surveyed and the results surprised many, including me.

I admit, I thought it would be a whitewash against the white van man, especially when you consider how they are often unchained, unleashed and unhinged.

The tide has turned though, and members of the public are seeing that most white van drivers are not a bad bunch really.

That is why it was BMW drivers who were voted the “most hated” in Derbyshire. They came out on top, and were universally condemned as the “worst drivers” on the roads in and around Derby.

White van owners did not get off completely scott free though. They are no angels and butter would not melt in all of their mouths.

16.5% of Derbyshire residents thought that white van drivers are the worst on the road, and they have no doubt seen their fair share of road rage and dangerous driving from our very own white van men.

Its nothing compared to those BMW drivers though…where 31.2% of Derbyshire residents voted them as the very WORST. Nobody else comes close.

Here at CVI we would like to take this opportunity to jump in and defend the white van drivers. Sure they do a few naughty things now and again, and they might even go on tour and get in a bit of bother…but when it comes down to it…ask yourself this question…where would you be without them?

Where would you be without that delivery driver from Amazon delivering your package just in time for Christmas?

Or where would you be, Derbyshire residents, without the hard working roofers, builders, and electricians who keep your houses in top nick throughout the year?

It is these white van owner tradespeople and delivery drivers who are the foundation of our society, and they deserve a bit more respect, in our opinion.

No, we are not white knighting the white van men…we are simply bringing a bit of clarity and common sense to the situation.

Just like our 3 minute form brings clarity and common sense to the van insurance world.

In an industry where sky high prices are the norm, its refreshing to find somewhere that cheap van insurance quotes are not designed break the bank, and are in fact, designed to save you a packet.

Do You Obey These 3 Strict Rules for Van Drivers?

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There is nothing quite like taking to the open road in your van. You have tools or parcels in the back, and the wind sweeps through your hair.

You are the king of the road there is no doubt about that. Master of your own destiny and controller of your financial future.

If you are the boss then owning your own van is essential, but there are certain rules you need to obey. Do you know what they are? Keep reading…

Rule 1 – Duty of Care

Have you ever heard of something called “duty of care?” Most van drivers haven’t, but they really should.

Why? Because duty of care is a set of rules which companies have to abide by when operating vans. Things such as the incorrect maintenance methods or improper loading methods. If you or your staff get it wrong then you can expect a fine when caught.

The maximum a company can be fined is £10 million pounds. Definitely not small change is it.

Even if you are only a small company you can still be fined around half a million quid. So make sure you get it right and get up to speed with the Duty of Care Rules.

Rule 2 – Mobile Phone

You are a busy business owner who needs to be in constant contact with customers, clients, and suppliers. If you get an important phone call while on the road…what do you do?

If you choose to “answer it” then you have just broke rule number 2 of driving your van. Never use your mobile while at the wheel.

The penalty for breaking this rule? 6 points on your license and £200. If you are a young van driver then could even lose your license.

It doesn’t matter if you are stuck in a traffic jam, getting lunch at the McDonalds drive-thru, or just checking your emails…if you are caught with your hand on the mobile then you are really in trouble.

Rule 3 – Compare Van Insurance

If you have been with the same old boring van insurance company for the last few years then you have just broke rule number 3…ALWAYS compare van insurance.

Sure, we are biased, because as you may have noticed, we are a comparison website, but that also means we know what we are talking about.

The simple fact of the matter is that van insurance companies DO NOT reward you for your loyalty. Perhaps you are wondering why your van insurance gets more expensive year after year? It’s because they don’t care about you.

The solution? Compare van insurance right here from around 40 companies and brokers who partner with us. If you find a cheaper deal then switch right away.

You should do this every single year. It only takes 3 minutes to fill in our form. What is 3 minutes of your time when you could save hundreds of pounds.

Van Drivers Who Passed Their Test After 1996 – READ THIS

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Are you a van driver who passed your driving test on or after the 1st January 1997. If so, then you MUST read this important message.

Ignore this and you could lose your license, get a fine…and even end up behind bars at her Majesty’s pleasure.

Now that I have your attention allow me to tell you exactly what this is all about.

Put simply, anyone who passed their driving test after 1996 is limited to driving vehicles that weigh up to 3500kg when fully loaded. This includes the weight of the driver as well.

If you are a tradesperson or courier driver…then its very easy to go over this 3500kg limit, especially when your van is loaded with tools or parcels.

Also, if you have been hitting the big macs or pizza hut hard recently, then it might be a good idea to eat a salad and hit the gym…hard.

Most van drivers either don’t know about this rule or wrongly assume if the weight of their van is below 3500kg then everything is hunky dory.

For example, the average Ford Transit which is very popular on our UK roads is around 2000kg soaking wet.

However, when you consider that two people can be sitting in the front and there is an assortment of heavy tools in the back…then it’s easy to see why so many van drivers are unwittingly breaking the law.

So are the cops cruising around and looking to bust you for being overweight? They might be, although most of the time they come across your crime by accident.

Many van drivers might be involved in a small fender bender and then the cops show up on the scene.

Nobody is at fault, and after both parties have exchanged details everybody is ready to leave…when…”what is the weight of your van, sir?”

The cops have a nose for this kind of thing, and busting you for being overweight is the cherry on top for them.

Hauling hardened criminals into jail…that is their bread and butter.

Busting overweight van drivers…that is their cherry.

Don’t let the cops pop your cherry. Visit a local weighbridge and make sure you are under the 3500kg limit.

If you regularly driver over the limit then you need to take additional driving tests to become legal.

Oh…and while you are at it you might as well visit our 3 minute form here at Cheap Van Insurance.

Thousands of van drivers make us their number 1 comparison website to get the best quotes. Find out for yourself why many white van men, tradespeople, delivery drivers and LCV owners call us “The Nations Favourite.”

Just go to the top of the page and click on “Get a Quote.”

Banged Up in Bordeaux

Posted on by News Desk

“Hello this is the inspector speaking to you on the pheun in the name of the leahw.”

“The leahw?” I replied.

“Monsieur..Don’t try to be funnayyyy with me…The leahw of France…and it is in the leahw that I inform you of your balloon seller who thinks he is a news reporter…has just been been sentenced to 7 years in a prison in Bordeaux”

“Is this a wind up?” I asked.

“This is no wind up Monsieur..the glueve was found at the crime scene last night of some precious jewels that have been robed. It was a white glueve…with the initials…CNR.”

“It can’t be…” I said in disbelief.

“If the glueve fits…” the inspector replied.

“Oh yes, it is obvious to my trained eye who the criminal is here, and now he is doing the time,” he went on to add.

“Oh and one more thing before I get off the pheun…I will be sending you a bill for a priceless Steinway.”

The next morning and the morning papers confirmed what the inspector told me.

“FAMOUS CHIEF NEWS REPORTER JAILED FOR 7 YEARS IN FRANCE”

Sub headline: “A gardener who thinks he is a photographer sent back to Beijing”

I couldn’t believe the headline staring back at me.

I only sent him on a simple assignment and now he was going to be folding laundry in prison for the next…7 years!

I gathered all of the staff in my office and poured everybody a shot of whiskey.

“Here is to the best damn CNR you could ever get” – as I rose my glass to him.

“Yes he definitely was a bit…eccentric,” said the head of the SEO department.

“He was a genius,” I corrected her…

“An eccentric genius, yes…but a genius…although a bit flawed…true, some would even say… that is what he was…an eccentric, flawed…

“Loony” the head of the SEO department added.

Everybody in the office laughed.

“You can take those kind of comments down to the ….JOB CENTRE…your fired!”

“Anyone else want to make any comments? Get back to work.”

I can only wonder what he is doing right now inside those walls of the prison de Bordeaux. No doubt he is on some kind of wild ride already. I just hope he has access to a pen and paper to document everything

But…the show must go on. Apologies if the quality of blog posts goes down over the next 7 years but we no longer have our CNR.

I’m sure our JNR is going to step up to the plate and start pumping out some classic blog posts, but he has to learn the ropes.

Of course, loyal readers and customers of CVI you will still be able to get cheap van insurance…don’t worry about that. Just fill out our 3 minute form to get around 40 quotes from van insurance companies.

38, Mate? Van Insurance Liar!

Posted on by News Desk

No word from our Chief News Reporter in Paris, France. No pictures. No telephone calls. Nothing. Just what is going on here? I don’t know.

What I do know is that all of you CVI enthusiasts will have to wait for the official Instagram page to be launched. Social media domination will be ours…just not yet.

While I’m waiting for word from our CNR, the only thing left to do is bring you some van insurance news.

So…in the absence of the Chief News Reporter I hand the torch over to the…Junior News Reporter.

JNR, it’s over to you…

It seems van drivers in the city of Blackburn are in a rush to age themselves. Forget about plastic surgery to look younger, these van owners are using van insurance applications to become older.

Take the story of a 20 year van driver as a prime example. Not happy with drinking from the fountain of youth, this kid wanted to become a man…a 38 year old man.

So when he filled out his online van insurance form he didn’t tell the truth. What he did was put “38” in the age box.

The reason? For cheap van insurance of course. Why else? There is no other reason.

As we have reported about before…young van drivers really do get hit in the wallet when insuring their van. Especially in cities such as London, but also in places such as Blackburn.

Unfortunately for the 20 year old van driver from Blackburn, his lies didn’t slip through the net, and the online lie detector machine “blew up” virtually when processing his van insurance application form.

It wasn’t just his age he was lying about either. He also had two speeding convictions which didn’t get mentioned on his application.

This brought his annual premium down to an affordable £924, although it was all based on a web of lies.

A few months later and the van driver was stopped on the M65 for speeding. Surprise, surprise. And Police quickly cottoned on to the fact this guy has been telling a few pork pies.

He then found himself in a courtroom where he had no choice but to plead guilty, which led to a conditional discharge for 6 months with £85 costs and a £20 victim surcharge.

The lesson here? Don’t lie on your van insurance application form. It really is as simple as that. You will get found out.

It’s a much better idea to use our 3 minute form here at Cheap Van Insurance. Then tell the truth, and nothing but the truth and you will be rewarded with amazing quotes from trusted van insurance companies and brokers.

Step 1

Complete your quick and easy quote

Step 2

Reveal your van insurance policies

Step 3

Pick your favourite and get instant cover