We arrived in Dundee and the Limo driver dropped me off at The Hilton. “I will pick you up at 8am tomorrow,” he said.
The next morning and the limo was waiting for me at 8am, and we headed to a bookies in the centre of town. It was a fairly routine story, and my mind wasn’t really on it, but I had a job to do as CNR of CVI…so I got out my notebook.
“White van crashed into the front of bookies. There was a bang when it happened. White van man? Fled! Coke? Puff the magic dragon? High on own supply? Perhaps.”
I had all the information I needed. “That’s a wrap,” I announced to the limo driver. “Let’s get going back to HQ.”
The CVI limo got going on the road and headed towards the outskirts of Dundee. The buildings disappeared and we found ourselves on a deserted road. And then…
…Out of nowhere a tanker truck roared past the limo and nearly took us off the road.
“What the heck,” I shouted.
Then the tanker truck slowed right down and stopped us from getting past.
Eventually the skills of the limo driver won the day and he found a gap past the truck.
We had overtook the truck, but it started blasting its horn and coming at us full speed yet again. I sensed danger.
“Speed up,” I told the limo driver.
Just as the tanker truck was about to crash into the limo…the limo driver put his foot on the accelerator and sped away.
We were driving at top speed out of Dundee…and into the Scottish Highlands.
Then the limo driver started to slow down.
“Don’t stop now, we must keep going,” I demanded.
“We have to stop at a service station…the last one before we enter the wilderness of the Highlands, and get a couple of pot noodles,” the driver replied.
“Ok be quick, that tanker truck is going to be in our rear view mirror again if we don’t hurry,” I said.
The driver went to get some pot noodles and I decided to phone HQ to let them know what was happening.
“No signal!” My Motorola was out of range.
I ran into a restaurant to use the pay phone and then phoned HQ. It was the answerphone.
“Hi It’s the CNR here. We are in the Scottish Highlands and…”
It was then that I noticed the tanker truck parked outside next to the CVI limo.
I looked around the restaurant and noticed everybody was staring at me. Which one was the driver? I thought to myself.
Then I recognised something familiar…a red baseball cap. It was the guy from the service station near Ipswich the previous day…the driver who had used his 2 For 1 vouchers at Pizza Hut.
“Meerkats,” I said, and then I put the phone down.
I acted calmly as I walked out of the restaurant and began walking towards the CVI limo.
I looked for the limo driver but all I found was 2 pot noodles, the kettle and the keys to the limo on the floor.
He had fled. Knowing what was in store.
I had no choice. I had to get in the limo and start driving. It was for CVI. Someone had to step forward.
Within minutes of being on the road I saw the tanker truck appear in my rear view mirror.
“This is it,” I said to myself. “A duel between The Meerkats and CVI. Winner takes all. There is no turning back now.”
The truck followed me through the Scottish highlands, and then I turned the limo round to face the truck in front of a canyon.
I took the pot noodles and locked them on the accelerator with the kettle. Now we were on a collision course. It was the only way.
I jumped free at the last moment and the limo collided with the tanker truck, destroying the limo and sending the truck into the canyon.
I watched as the truck fell to the bottom of the canyon.
“The summer is over, CVI has won this battle and the war. If anyone should be promoting 2 for 1 movie and restaurant tickets it should be us,” I said.
I sat at the Canyons edge and threw stones for the rest of the evening, Watching the sun set.
